Is it Me, or Is It the Chaos in the World?
There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world right now. Global conflicts, economic instability, the rising cost of living, and a constant flood of information can make it feel like everything is out of control. If you’re feeling restless, stuck, or even frightened, you may be wondering:
- Is it me, or is the chaos around me causing this?
- How do I move forward when everything feels so uncertain?
- How can I make a change in my life when I don’t even know where to start?
The truth is—both are true. The external world is uncertain, but your inner world doesn’t have to be.
You can’t control everything happening around you, but you can control how you respond, where you place your energy, and the choices you make each day. Feeling stuck isn’t always about not knowing what to do—it’s often about being too overwhelmed to see a way forward.
If that sounds familiar, then let’s break it down step by step.
Why Change Feels So Hard
You might have tried to make changes in the past—setting goals, making resolutions, or even overhauling your routine—only to find yourself right back where you started.
This isn’t because you lack discipline or motivation. The science of change tells us that your brain is wired to resist uncertainty. When faced with too many choices or an unclear path, the brain defaults to what feels safe and familiar—even if that means staying stuck in a situation that isn’t serving you.
1. The Comfort Zone Trap
Your brain craves predictability. Even if you want to make a change, part of you holds back because your current reality feels safer—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Example: Have you ever stayed in a job, relationship, or situation long past the point of happiness—simply because it felt familiar? That’s the comfort zone trap in action.
2. Too Many Choices = No Action
When you have too many options, your brain can freeze. This is called decision paralysis—where uncertainty makes you avoid taking any step at all.
Example: You want to start a new habit, like exercising more, but with so many possible routines, diet plans, and fitness programs, it feels overwhelming. So, you do nothing.
3. Emotional Resistance
If you’ve spent years putting others first, choosing yourself can feel uncomfortable—even selfish. Many caregivers, leaders, and people-pleasers struggle with guilt when they start prioritising their own needs.
Example: You finally carve out time for yourself, but when someone asks for your help, you immediately drop your plans to support them. Over time, this cycle leaves you drained, frustrated, and stuck.
These patterns can make you feel like change is impossible. But change isn’t about forcing yourself to do more—it’s about creating space for what truly matters.
Step 1: Clear Space Before Adding More
Most people try to change by adding more—more habits, more commitments, more responsibilities. But if your life is already full, adding more just leads to burnout.
Practical Action:
Before trying to figure out what’s next, take a moment to assess what’s draining you. Ask yourself:
- What activities, commitments, or habits feel like a burden?
- Where am I giving my time and energy without receiving anything in return?
- What small change could create space for something new?
Just like a garden, you need to pull the weeds before planting new seeds.
Related Post: Setting Boundaries
Step 2: Get Clear on What You Want
One reason people stay stuck is because they don’t know what they truly want. And often, that’s because they’ve been following what they should want rather than what actually feels right for them.
Instead of focusing on external goals (money, career success, material things), shift the focus to how you want to feel.
Practical Action:
Grab a journal and answer these questions:
- What does a fulfilling day look like for me?
- When do I feel most at peace and most like myself?
- What do I want more of in my life?
This process isn’t about instant answers—it’s about creating space to listen without pressure or outside expectations.
Step 3: Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
Your time and energy are your most valuable resources. If you don’t set boundaries, other people will take them for you—leaving you exhausted and disconnected from yourself.
Many people feel guilty setting boundaries, but Brené Brown puts it perfectly:
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
Practical Action:
Set one clear boundary for the next month.
Examples:
- I will no longer check emails before 10AM because it stresses me out.
- I will no longer overcommit to plans that leave me feeling drained.
- I will set aside 30 minutes a day for something that brings me peace.
Boundaries create space. And space creates clarity.
Related Post: Protecting your Time
Join the Clarity Creation Workshop This Sunday
If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start making real changes, join me for the Clarity Creation Workshop on Sunday at 9.30AM (UK time) on Zoom.
In this free session, we’ll cover:
✔ Identifying what drains your energy so you can reclaim it
✔ Getting clear on what truly matters to you (not what others expect)
✔ Setting boundaries and taking simple, actionable steps toward change
The world may feel uncertain, but your inner world doesn’t have to be. Let’s create clarity
Register here to receive the link: Clarity Creation Workshop
Clarity isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you create.