Awaken your Friend Archetype

We all want to belong to something larger

Do you want to be more accepting of other people? Do you crave creating and forging connections with people? Do you need resilience to survive the space you are in?  The Friend Archetype is the energy that you need to reconnect to enjoy being part of a group.

You can access all the different Archetype energies. Some may be more available than others depending on your life experience. The art is to be able to access what you need when you need it. If you’re at a point where you want to be part of a group, team or something bigger, the Friend Archetype is the energy you need to feel belonging and commit fully!

treat people the way you want to be treated

This down to earth and unpretentious archetype understands that everyone matters, just as they are. The Friend expects little from life but teaches with empathy, realism and is streetwise. Their goal is to feel a sense of belonging.

Why do I need healthy Friend Energy in my life?

The shadow side of the Friend Archetype is the Victim, who blames her in competence and irresponsibility on others and expects special treatment from life because she feels so victimised or fragile. When the shadow side is in control of her life, she will attack those trying to help her, harming others and herself simultaneously. Otherwise, she may collapse and become dysfunctional as she feels incompetent and is a chronic complainer. The pitfall is cynicism which is a negative and draining thought behaviour.

Why do I need Friend Energy?

The Friend Archetype can support you in your search for a sense of belonging.

“ True belonging:

Be vulnerable. Get uncomfortable. Be present with people without sacrificing who you are.” Brené Brown

Do you want to feel you belong rather than just fitting in? Do you need the energy to work hard and get things done? Would you like to connect to more enjoyment in your life?

The strength of The Friend is their interdependence and pragmatic realism. If you need to create something, being able to connect with others and work with them to create it, is a huge help. The Friend Archetype is resilient, they don’t give up at the first challenge. If you want to be able to bounce back join my Friend Archetype workshop.

The life experience of The Friend means they understand challenges and they are able to empathise with others. This is a superpower and makes them valuable friends and team members. The Friend’s gifts are stewardship, altruism, fairness and respect. They are a key member in any project.

“You are imperfect. You are wired for struggle. You are worthy of love and belonging.” Brené Brown

Awaken your Innocent Archetype

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” Richard Bandler

Are you struggling to start new projects? If you’ve had setbacks in the past, these may be upmost in your mind. Is your inner voice telling you that you’ll fail? Does the thought of starting something new feel futile? The Innocent Archetype is the energy that you need to reconnect to the optimist within you.

You can access all the different Archetype energies. Some may be more available than others depending on your life experience. The art is to be able to access what you need when you need it. If you’re at a point where you want start something new, the Innocent Archetype is the energy you need to get going!

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement

The Innocent Archetype is the trusting spontaneous child that while a bit dependent, has the optimism to take the journey. Anyone starting a new venture needs the gifts of the Innocent to get them started – optimism, hope, faith and trust. Without the Innocent, we’d never leave the harbour.

Why do I need healthy Innocent Energy in my life?

The Innocent fears abandonment and seeks safety. They can become dependent on others to fulfil their heroic task. The shadow side of the Innocent is evident in their capacity for denial. They don’t let themselves know what’s going on. They may be hurting themselves and others and they will not let themselves acknowledge it. They may be hurt, but they repress that knowledge as well.

There may be naivete. They may believe what others say even though it is counter to their own inner knowing. This leads to consumerism and sugar addiction. The shadow side of the Innocent is also needs to be cheerful all the time, in a way that denies experiencing other emotions. Cheerfulness is a mask.

Why do I need Innocent Energy?

The Innocent Archetype can support you in your search for happiness. They bring a sense of wonder and appreciate the simple life.

Do you want to feel optimistic about your future? Do you require faith in your abilities? Do you have projects that you want to start?

When the Innocent thrives in us, we believe in possibilities and happy endings. This state of innocence allows us to access new inspiration and start new projects. They bring the gifts of faith, hope, optimism, honesty and trust. If you want to connect with the spontaneous trusting child in you that has the optimism to take the journey, join my Innocent Archetype workshop. This archetype’s greatest strengths are trust and optimism that endears them to others. People will believe their honest optimism, help and support the endeavour.

“Optimism is not just a mindset, it’s a behaviour.” Larry Elder

The Innocent values the simple life and finds happiness and magic in the everyday.

Awaken the Entertainer Archetype

Do you need to step forward and share your perspective?

Have you got something important to share? You need to access your Entertainer energy

The Entertainer’s goal is to have fun and brig light to the situation. This archetype also called the jester or fool maty seem synonymous with comedy and humour. The key aspect of this archetype is their ability to see things differently. Perspective is their true skill.

The Entertainer is entertaining, but what they really brig is ideas, innovation and the ability to reframe concepts as no one can. The successful Entertainer can take a serious subject and make light of it in a way that’s comfortable for others.

The Shadow Side of the Entertainer

The Entertainer fears boredom. At their worst they are irresponsible, cruel and frivolous. The shadow side is the glutton, sloth or lecher, defined by urges of the body without any sense of dignity or self-control

The Healthy Entertainer

The Entertainer wants to live joyfully and in the present. They can have fun with intelligence. Life should be lived to the fullest each moment. Enjoy life just as it is, with all the paradoxes and dilemmas.

The Entertainer lives without restraint and shines with unrelenting confidence. They can lighten awkward silences and serious situations. This archetype is not afraid to stand out and may even bend the rules if it will help them reach their goal! The gifts are carefree, joyful, original, enjoyment and irreverence. The Entertainer Archetype allows us to step out into life and share our unique perspective.

Reconnect to exuberant joy by access the workshops here:  Entertainer Archetype

Awaken the Creator

The Creator, Maker or Artist is the Archetype that helps us express ourselves in beautiful ways. They foster all imaginative endeavours, from the highest art to the smallest lifestyle or work innovation. The Creator expresses their identity through their creations and in doing so they explore their relationship to the world. A critical part of their quest is finding and accepting themselves.

Pitfalls of the Creator

The shadow side shows itself as obsessive, a need to create and to do this to fill our emptiness. There can be endless essential projects, challenges or new things to do that can manifest in workaholism. This shadow side also manifests as creating messes. Lot of things started and nothing getting completed. The Poor Artist is a stereotype.

Another pitfall is the Prima-donna behaviours. The extreme self-indulgence of the Shadow Side of the Creator can be self-sabotaging. Another pitfall is they can become addicted to their work/creativity.

Benefits of the healthy Creator

The goal of the Creator is clarity on their identity. They are visionaries, creative, imaginative and skilful. The Creator expresses their individuality. They have strong aesthetics, noticing beauty and creating it in their own way. This Archetype can use their self-expression as their vocation.

Awaken your Explorer Archetype

Are you struggling to get out and do what you want? If you have been in a relationship, maybe you’ve been running round after the needs of your children or you have spent a long period of time withdrawn, the thought of going out on your own may feel overwhelming. The Explorer Archetype is the energy that you need to reconnect to within you.

You can access all the different Archetype energies. Some may be more available than others depending on your life experience. The art is to be able to access what you need when you need it. If you’re at a point where you want to search for a better life, the Explorer Archetype is the energy for this quest!

Following a path of self-discovery

The Explorer leaves the known, to discover and explore the unknown. They’re brave and strong enough to be on their own, to seek out new paths. They are on a quest to rediscover their uniqueness, their perspective and their calling. Authenticity is the goal of the Explorer; they want to be who they really are, not what society has told them to be.

“Freedom is oxygen of the soul” – Moshe Dayan

Adventurous, open-minded and independent they often like to travel. Travel allows them to explore somewhere new, but also themselves in relation to that new experience. New cultures, new experiences and ways of undertaking tasks creates a new perspective on life. There’s clarity and expanded possibilities in knowing life has many opportunities, not only the way you were socialised to do things. Who do you choose to be?

Why do I need healthy Explorer Energy in my life?

Seeking freedom all the time can lead to alienation and loneliness. Explorers are looking for something that will improve their life but may not realise they have much already inside themselves. This can result in feelings of chronic disappointment. The shadow side is going from one self-improvement course to yet another health club as their main life activity. They are striving to live up to an impossible goal or to find the ‘right’ solution.

The Shadow side is the never feel ready to commit to accomplish anything. The life challenge is to be unafraid to commit to settling in one place with one person, in one style of life. Exploration can be emotional as well as physical.

Why do I need Explorer Energy?

Do you have gifts that you want to bring to the world? Is it time to stop following the crowd, and be you? Did you give your life in the service to others and lose your identity along the way? Who are you when you’re not fulfilling a role? The Explorer Archetype can support you in your search for an authentic life.

The gifts of the Explorer are independence, bravery, non-conformity and self-sufficiency. If you want to connect with who you are on a deeper level, join my Explorer Archetype workshop. This archetype will support you to be true to your deeper self. It’s nonconformist but it will support you to discover your uniqueness and calling.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step” Lao Tzu

The Explorer just keeps moving until they find their goal and usually their true self too.

Mastery – the gift of the Warrior Archetype

“I don’t know how I’m going to win. I just know I’m not going to lose.” Gokham Saki
When life gets tough, you need your inner Warrior to step forward, be brave and determined. Otherwise, you feel a victim of life and giving away your power. This powerless position isn’t going to get you to where you want to be in life. It isn’t going to make your big, beautiful dreams come true. If you want positive change, you need to be brave and make it happen. A Warrior is a brave fighter – this is an energy; it’s not linked to gender. The fight can be an inner fight to make a change in your life. You may also choose to call upon the Warrior to champion the cause of others. Maybe a fight for social justice or a more harmonious way of living on the earth. The Warrior represents physical strength, and the ability to protect and fight for your rights and those of others. The Warrior is a fighter with a heart. “Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.” The Warrior personifies determination and a will to win. You may not know how you will win, but you need the courage of the Warrior to pursue your goals.
She needed a hero, so she became one
If you are drawn to work with this Archetype you may require the Warrior spirit to help you set firm personal boundaries and to stand up for your rights. This energy is helpful if you want to take control in your life, and no longer wish to play the role of the victim. Women can bring their feminine qualities to leadership roles. Communication, Cooperation and nurturing others to bring the best out in them. These qualities empower a team enabling it to be more and achieve more. Ewin McManus said “The Warrior is always a servant… The Warrior does not serve because they cannot lead; they know that a person cannot lead if they do not serve.”
Confucius – “Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.” This ancient wisdom tells us that there needs to be a union with the heart to hold power responsibly. A Warrior has a strong connection between their will/power and their heart. The heart guides the direction, otherwise the Warrior skills being used for personal gain without thought of morality, ethics or the good of the whole group are the Archetypal Villain. This is also active in our lives any time we feel compelled to compromise our principles to get our way or win. The shadow side of the Warrior reflects the need to win at all costs, abandoning ethical principles to prove your supremacy. The shadow of the Warrior is rampant in business today. Conversely the Warrior may appeal to you if you have a very strong sense of self and are proud of the victories you have achieved. The shadow side of Warrior may be asking you to reflect honestly on the cost of these victories. Have they been at the expense of others or your principles?
In the 3 x 1-hour sessions of the Exploring the Warrior Archetype we immerse in this energy. Embodying the Warrior Archetype and her goal of mastery. This can be applied to any area of your life. Challenging work tasks need focus and determination. You can activate this powerful energy, rather than languishing in procrastination. Tough and courageous, this archetype helps you set and achieve goalsovercome obstacles and persist in difficult times.  In the workshop you will examine the pitfalls which are arrogance and ruthlessness. Awareness supports you to choose a new course of action. ​ The Warrior’s gifts are couragedisciplinedetermination and skillExploring the Warrior Archetype will support you to enrich your life with these gifts.

Liberation – the gift of the Destroyer Archetype

“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”

David Foster Wallace

Every month we have a New Moon. This is the time of darkness. This state of darkness is familiar to us and something we shouldn’t fear. We came from darkness in the ****. We have day and night, a time of rest and revival. Depending on what you believe, there is also the darkness before your soul enters your body and your current incarnation. These are all cycles the clearing before the start of something new.

We are familiar with a period of Wintering, of dissolution and this is a natural cycle. It’s not sustainable to be in the full action of summer all the time. Just imagine, if we did do this, there wouldn’t be time for change. Although we would be perpetually busy, we’d become stagnant, doing the same things over and over. Repeating the same mistakes. There would be no time for review, learning and letting go. Does this sound familiar? Is a pattern in your life?

Knowing when to let go

The Gift of the Destroyer Archetype is to know when it is time to let go and to do so with grace. Letting go is a crucial part of life. Learning to let go and trust that something better will take its place is a life-lesson. This is a natural death and rebirth cycle. When we embody this energy in ourselves, we can move on from situations that we’ve outgrown, being present to harvest the lessons and turn it into wisdom.

How are you at endings?

Do you fear them?

You can be present at endings when you embody the Destroyer Archetype energy. You don’t avoid difficult emotions. You have the capacity to be present, to grieve the loss or perceived loss and that allows you to move on.

Why do I need healthy Destroyer energy?

Why is this important? If you can’t allow the emotions to move through you, you’ll find yourself stuck, unable to move on in your life. This may mean:

  • You don’t start a new relationship as you fear a possible end and heartache. The result is you stay alone and feel lonely.
  • You can’t let go of belongings as you have not processed the emotions and moved on from that part of your life. You’re hording/chained to the past as you haven’t dealt with it.
  • In business you may be unable to complete projects and move on to something new and better. Incapable of ending a product that isn’t performing well and make space for something new.
  • You are stuck repeating life-limiting beliefs. To allow yourself to become someone new, you need to crack open your protective shell and dissolve who you are. The old you must die before the new you can become.

The Destroyer Archetype bears gifts for you. We need a time of darkness and reflection to be able to formulate the wisdom. This gives us clarity in what is a weed and what is something we should keep and nurture in our life. The Destroyer energy supports us to move beyond fear and weed out limiting beliefs. When you master Wintering, you learn to collaborate with the dying of the old, the outworn, the tattered disguises and know this is process of liberation.

In our outer focused Western culture, we are not taught to recognise and honour these organic cycles and override them -often at a huge personal cost in terms of stress and burnout. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but it’s preparing the ground for the fertile new growth.

What does this mean in my life?

Your life is continuously moving through this birth, growth, death and rebirth cycle. If you are in business you may want to take a moment to recognise where your projects are. Are you holding on to things that need to be released? Are you fearful of letting go? Recognise that there is always a threshold, ending one cycle while anticipating a new one around the corner.

Take some quiet time to reflect your relationship to endings.

  • How were you taught to deal with uncomfortable feelings?
  • Are you fully present at endings?
  • Do you choose to remain in a relationship long after it is has ceased to be beneficial to you?

Do you want to be able to create a new and better life for yourself? If so, you need to release that which limits you. You need to be brave, progressive and take risks. These are leadership qualities. You need to lead yourself into your improved life and that means destroying the old, so your energy is thereafter able to be focused on creating the new.

Is it time to end the claw marks and fearful grasping?

Let go gracefully.

The Destroyer Archetype workshops allow you to let go and liberate yourself. The 3 x 1hours workshops Explore the Destroyer Archetype and activate the gifts: capacity to let go, bravery, risk-taking, progressive, leadership and enable metamorphosis in your life.

How does it feel to sit in the Sisterhood Campfire Circle?

Connection – Community

Can you feel a longing inside? A hollow feeling, the emptiness of an unmet need. It’s hard to put your finger on what it is exactly. I’ve felt this hollow in myself in the past and only when I stepped into a women’s circle was there a profound internal change in me. I felt like ‘I’D COME HOME’.

This is a felt sense, not something the mind can make sense of. This feeling isn’t something you get from being with family or on fun a night out with friends or from buying something. It is deep nourishment. Simply BEing you is enough. You feel nurtured from the inside because you’re connecting to other like-hearted women in the Sisterhood Campfire.

At the Sisterhood Campfire we create meaning together. We learn about ourselves through being in relationship with others.

Your soul calls you to sit in a Woman’s Circle  

Our lives are busy. So many things call for our attention every minute of the day. We are habituated to being available to others through our phones 24/7. All this means we lose sense of who we are. The Sisterhood Campfire is a safe space, a quiet space within the busyness of life to reconnect to core of who you are. Experience clarity, awareness and reconnection to your knowing.

We visualise, relax, journal and deepen into exploring ourselves, with the intention of unfolding. Stripping away the masks we wear. Liberating ourselves from the things that no longer serve us.

The embodiment practices at the Campfire allow you to reconnect with your body. This is time for you, a gift to yourself. You will feel calm and centred. If you dedicate time to coming to the Campfire, you will reconnect to your intuition.

Deepening your Roots

As this is a safe sacred space, there is an Initiation Ceremony, If you want to join the Online Sisterhood Campfire you need to speak from your heart and claim your seat by the fire. You set your intention to be part of the Circle. You will be witnessed by others as you step into the Circle. We support and celebrate each other. This is a loving space where you can move from your busy mind into your open heart. We have the intentions to be ourselves. We hold space and listen with heart to one another. This radical unconditional love and it allows us to deepen into self-acceptance.

Here we pause the journey of life and take time to rest and reflect, by the fire, in the company of like-minded women. This space allows us to deepen our roots. From this place we can take a higher perspective on life. We are no longer in the drama. Feel grounded and centred in who you are. Become aware of life’s lessons and with this awareness comes the liberty of new choices.

The Campfire is a close group. After the Initiation new women are absorbed into the group without compromising our depth, vulnerability and realness. Over time the depth of openness and intimacy builds and becomes stronger – we are fiercely protective of that. We are exploring feminine spiritual practices. We are meeting in a space beyond the mind and the personality. We are exploring new and radical ways to nourish each other as women.

Every Woman’s Circle is different. Some are places to chat about the past or share worries about the future.  This Circle supports you to stay present. The power to make changes in your life is in the present moment. Your practices here in the Sisterhood Campfire will ripple out in your life. After the Circle there is a time for informal connection and chat around the virtual tea urn. We are women and we like to chat. There is space for it all.

Let all the pretences fly.

It is time.

Are you joining us?


“Last night I sat in Sarah Nicholson’s Sisterhood Campfire circle for the first time. Sarah brought us into the circle through meditation and visualisation, creating a really strong connection with all members of the group.

Sarah led us with some energy awareness exercises – what it was to be present and connecting, opening us up to how our interactions with each other feel, through sharing and listening. Everything about the experience was considered and focused. We had breakout rooms, which were used to have more one to one experienced conversation and listening.

I really enjoyed the full experience, having done 3 of Sarah’s previous courses, I knew to expect a clear and strong development, what I loved was the gentle relaxed way she held the circle and kept raising our awareness, opening up our conscious awareness. “

Bridget Bernadette Karn

Sisterhood Circle – why do we need it?

Sisterhood Circle – why do we need it?

Is your busy life full of thinking, thinking, thinking? Do you end up feeling frazzled, tired, empty or flat? Is there is a sense of overwhelm being not far behind you, nearly catching you up and the fear of it derailing you? Do you feel tired of continually pretending to be something you are not? Do others seem to have it all sorted out and you feel a mess? Are you fed up with comparing yourself to others?

Do you want to unhook from all that doing in your life but you don’t know how? Does your life lack meaning? Finding the bottom of the wash-basket isn’t fulfilling. Do you feel isolated and alone? Are you disconnected from others when connection is what you want more than anything? Are you tired of the inauthenticity all around us?

A Sisterhood Circle is a sacred space. It is a safe space to take off your masks of mother, wife, lover, employee, daughter and ease back into being yourself. Being held and holding others allows us all to relax on a deeper level. There is no need to perform and act a certain way. If the tears need to flow, they are welcome. Releasing the emotion enables us to heal.

Our ancestors sat in circles.

This was a powerful time. The knowledge of many was brought together and shared across generations of women. Sharing circles enable women to respond to their life challenges with greater dignity and grace. In the circle they would also support each other to sort out the problems in the tribe. This is a foundation block of the community’s dynamic in indigenous cultures and it’s why its resurfacing as a global phenomenon.

This is a place to celebrate feminine strength. One of our defining feminine strengths is being able to be vulnerable. In Circle we witness each other’s challenges. We aren’t there to fix you. You aren’t broken. We trust in you and your journey. When you open and allow yourself to be raw and honest with yourself on a deeper level, you’ll open to soul level insights into your life. Taking responsibility for yourself, your beliefs, thoughts and actions is the detonator for personal transformation. We hold a loving compassionate space for you as you journey.

The Circle has its own magic. Each woman comes to circle present for herself and others. Presence is the magic. We hold space and listen with heart to one another. This is your space to befriend authenticity. When you open to this community you feel connected and supported. The Circle helps women identify and master their personal lessons.

Because of the challenges we experience individually as women, as well as the collective awakening our planet is facing, we need spaces to feel safe. As we individually and collectively look deeper at our beliefs, actions and their consequences we feel a seismic change ripping our old world apart. We are being shaken to our core as we become more and more aware of how connected we all are to each other in our global village.

How do you feel about joining a Sisterhood Circle? 

Are you a little anxious? I encourage you go under the feeling and find out what fear is under there. Do you fear being judged or kept small by other women? These fears are common, read my bog about the Sister Wound. If you want to clear these beliefs, I encourage you invest your time and resource in my workshops to Heal the Sister Wound.  These fears are part of us until we confront them and create a new story, one where women support each other to shine.

The Sisterhood Circle I have created, is called the Sisterhood Campfire. We are all on life’s journey and this is an opportunity to stop like a weary traveller by the fire. Take time to relax, be yourself, feel your achievements, your challenges and be present with yourself. Be present and open to the wisdom of the Circle. Every time you join you will learning something new about yourself.

If you have more questions, book a complimentary 20 minute call. I encourage you to find out community and your own deep sense of belonging.

Are the eyes in the mirror the eyes of a woman you respect?

The 8th March is International Women’s Day. It’s a time of reflection for me. Why do we need this day? Why do we still need to highlight the discrepancy and inequalities? Why do they still exist? It may be a struggle for women in other countries, but why are women still underrepresented in positions of power in my country? Why is there a pay gap between men and women? How does this situation continue to be perpetuated?  Glennon Doyle says “You need to look dead into your own eyes – at your real self. You need to make sure there are no lies there. You need to make sure the eyes in the mirror are the eyes of a woman you respect.”

Do women not value themselves?

I see amazing capable women in all walks of life. Why aren’t they leaders and decision-makers? Why aren’t we creating a world that is more compassionate and supports everyone in our society? Women are just as capable as men, so what creates this situation? Do women not value themselves?

The gender pay-gap

Women are usually paid 17% less than men. Men ask for things that will advance themselves four times more than women. Typically, me will ask sixteen times a year for things that will advance them. They don’t get everything they ask for, but because they ask for so many things, they will get something’s. They will ask to be released from time consuming tasks, and they be given to junior staff member. They will ask for referrals. Men hustle more. 20% of women say the never negotiate. Why is this? Why do women settle with what they have been given? Do they think they aren’t worthy of more?

This is about beliefs!

This isn’t about capability. This is about beliefs. How do women get trained to settle for less?  If you are a woman, how have you had your wings clipped and been put in a cage without realising it? Or in your heart, do you realise you are caged, not reaching your full potential, but you don’t know how to change your situation? What beliefs have you taken onboard that mean you don’t ask for what you want? Doyle in her book Untamed reflects “If we keep passing down the legacy of martyrdom to our daughers, with whom will it end? Which woman ever gets to lie? And when does the death sentence begin?”

Do you know what you want?

In Untamed, Doyle lists what women desire:

“I want a minute to take a deep breath.

I want rest, peace, passion.

I want good food and true, wild, intimate sex.

I want a relationships with no lies.

I want to be comfortable in my own skin.

I want to be seen, to be loved.

I want joy and safety for my children and fro everyone else’s children. I want justice for all.

I want help, community, and connection.

I want to be forgiven, and I finally want to forgive.

I want enough money and power to stop feeling afraid.

I want to find my purpose down here and live it out fully.

I want to look at the news and see less pain, more love.

I want to look at the people in my life and really see them and love them.

I want to look in the mirror and really see myself and love myself.

I want to feel alive.

If women trusted and claimed their desires, the world as we know it would crumble. Perhaps that is precisely what needs to happen so we can rebuild a truer, more beautiful lives, relationships, families, and nations in their place.” Do you know what you want? I ask this pertinent question as you will settle for what’s happening if you don’t have a vision of what you want in your life.

What do you want in the next year? What do you want in the next 3 -5 years? I want women to be able to affect positive change in the world. To use their gifts of creating community, cooperation and cocreation. Why are we still celebrating International Women’s Day and highlighting inequality if we need these gifts in the world? Why are we in this mess? Data shows that a woman will have to be able to meet 95% of the criteria for a role before she will apply. Whereas a man will apply on matching 60% of the criteria. They see themselves as potential!

How do we raise girls in a way that creates these belief systems which result in them hold themselves back? If we can get a grip on that, we can stop perpetuating these beliefs.

How we are socialised

  1. Girls are socialised to be good and focus on the needs of others.

Boys are encouraged to be pushy, get ahead, set a goal and do it. Self-determination.

  1. Society doesn’t like aggressive women; it stigmatises them calling them bossy or selfish.

How we are regarded by our peers our friends affect our actions. If you head into a room of teenage girls and boys, groups of friends chilling, watching a film and ask “who want pizza?” you will get different reactions. Notice! The boys will self- resource and decide if they want pizza, they’ll say yes of no. The girls will look at each other to see what their friends want to do. Do they want pizza? There’ll be a spokeswoman for the group who will speak for them saying yes or no. These young women are already socialised to put the needs of others before themselves, to be liked, to fit in, to be acceptable.

Workplace values

“…women leaders often get conflicting feedback — told on the one hand that they’re too bossy or aggressive, but on the other that they should be more confident and assertive. A huge body of work has found that when women are collaborative and communal, they are not perceived as competent—but when they emphasize their competence, they’re seen as cold and unlikable, in a classic “double bind.” say Smith, Rosenstein & Nikolov.

Releasing negative societal biases is all our responsibility.

We need new ways of working to create a better society and businesses. People say what makes a successful leader are the positive traits such as compassion, which women leaders receive in their performance evaluations. Smith, Rosenstein & Nikolov ask “So why isn’t this translating into more women in these roles? It’s one thing to describe an ideal leader, it’s another to describe a real person’s performance without being influenced by stereotypes about their gender, or stereotypes about what a leader should be.”

I am sure this blog has just clarified what you know in your heart and from experience. However, I’m not here to just complain about the situation. I encourage you to change. I encourage you to ripple change through you, out into life. Becoming aware is the first step. It takes deep honesty to see how we are part of the systems and how we perpetuate them by our complicity. Selfless women make for an efficient society but not a beautiful, true or just one! When women lose themselves, the world loses its way.

It’s time to step forward shoulder to shoulder with other women. Let’s help those behind us by bringing them up to our level. Celebrate and stand up for women ahead of us as they are cutting the trail to a better future. Doyle asks “What if a responsible mother is not one who shows her children how to slowly die but how to stay wildly alive until the day she dies?” I’m an auntie, I see myself as an elder and it is my responsibility to bring my wisdom to the world through my actions.

I create safe spaces for women to take off their masks. Places where they can be in a circle with other women. This is an ancient way, that has supported women for millennia, taken online in our modern world. Join my free taster: Experience the Sisterhood Campfire session on Thursday at 7pm This is a time to relax and reconnect to your feminine wisdom.

If you recognise that you have lost yourself to our culture’s arbitrary expectations and you want a straight and direct root back to yourself… YOU, no onelse, then join my 10-week transformational programme. Value Yourself is what is says on the tin. It reconnects you to your truth, the wisdom of your life. What we need are women that are full of themselves.  A woman who is full of herself knows and trust herself to say and do what must be done.

How can we create change in 2021? Be the change you want to see. You are the permission slip for other women and men to do something different. We can change the world through our beliefs, thoughts and actions. Black Lives Matter proves it! Now let’s change the world for 51% of the population! Let’s support each other to thrive.

This is a challenge to women in the workplace:

  1. How will you support women colleague and enable their success?
  2. What support structures are needed to create a supportive network for women within your organisation?
  3. Men as allies – the Millennial generation are much more likely to want time with their families, holidays and things women want. Connect with them as fathers of daughters, feminist and work with them to create a new culture.

This is a challenge to women outside the workplace:

  1. How can you encourage girls to grow up as self-determined?
  2. What will you show you value in a girl/woman? What will you say to her when you compliment her? Do you comment on how she looks or what she does?
  3. How can you support her to get the skills she needs to be able to negotiate for what she wants in life?

Message me  if you want to know how I can facilitate workshops and ongoing women’s support networks in your business.

As always, every great journey starts with the first few steps. What will yours be? I’m interested to know your thoughts, please share them in the comments below. How have you been tamed? What do you desire? How will you reclaim you?