Liberation – the gift of the Destroyer Archetype
“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”
David Foster Wallace
Every month we have a New Moon. This is the time of darkness. This state of darkness is familiar to us and something we shouldn’t fear. We came from darkness in the ****. We have day and night, a time of rest and revival. Depending on what you believe, there is also the darkness before your soul enters your body and your current incarnation. These are all cycles the clearing before the start of something new.
We are familiar with a period of Wintering, of dissolution and this is a natural cycle. It’s not sustainable to be in the full action of summer all the time. Just imagine, if we did do this, there wouldn’t be time for change. Although we would be perpetually busy, we’d become stagnant, doing the same things over and over. Repeating the same mistakes. There would be no time for review, learning and letting go. Does this sound familiar? Is a pattern in your life?
Knowing when to let go
The Gift of the Destroyer Archetype is to know when it is time to let go and to do so with grace. Letting go is a crucial part of life. Learning to let go and trust that something better will take its place is a life-lesson. This is a natural death and rebirth cycle. When we embody this energy in ourselves, we can move on from situations that we’ve outgrown, being present to harvest the lessons and turn it into wisdom.
How are you at endings?
Do you fear them?
You can be present at endings when you embody the Destroyer Archetype energy. You don’t avoid difficult emotions. You have the capacity to be present, to grieve the loss or perceived loss and that allows you to move on.
Why do I need healthy Destroyer energy?
Why is this important? If you can’t allow the emotions to move through you, you’ll find yourself stuck, unable to move on in your life. This may mean:
- You don’t start a new relationship as you fear a possible end and heartache. The result is you stay alone and feel lonely.
- You can’t let go of belongings as you have not processed the emotions and moved on from that part of your life. You’re hording/chained to the past as you haven’t dealt with it.
- In business you may be unable to complete projects and move on to something new and better. Incapable of ending a product that isn’t performing well and make space for something new.
- You are stuck repeating life-limiting beliefs. To allow yourself to become someone new, you need to crack open your protective shell and dissolve who you are. The old you must die before the new you can become.
The Destroyer Archetype bears gifts for you. We need a time of darkness and reflection to be able to formulate the wisdom. This gives us clarity in what is a weed and what is something we should keep and nurture in our life. The Destroyer energy supports us to move beyond fear and weed out limiting beliefs. When you master Wintering, you learn to collaborate with the dying of the old, the outworn, the tattered disguises and know this is process of liberation.
In our outer focused Western culture, we are not taught to recognise and honour these organic cycles and override them -often at a huge personal cost in terms of stress and burnout. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but it’s preparing the ground for the fertile new growth.
What does this mean in my life?
Your life is continuously moving through this birth, growth, death and rebirth cycle. If you are in business you may want to take a moment to recognise where your projects are. Are you holding on to things that need to be released? Are you fearful of letting go? Recognise that there is always a threshold, ending one cycle while anticipating a new one around the corner.
Take some quiet time to reflect your relationship to endings.
- How were you taught to deal with uncomfortable feelings?
- Are you fully present at endings?
- Do you choose to remain in a relationship long after it is has ceased to be beneficial to you?
Do you want to be able to create a new and better life for yourself? If so, you need to release that which limits you. You need to be brave, progressive and take risks. These are leadership qualities. You need to lead yourself into your improved life and that means destroying the old, so your energy is thereafter able to be focused on creating the new.
Is it time to end the claw marks and fearful grasping?
Let go gracefully.
The Destroyer Archetype workshops allow you to let go and liberate yourself. The 3 x 1hours workshops Explore the Destroyer Archetype and activate the gifts: capacity to let go, bravery, risk-taking, progressive, leadership and enable metamorphosis in your life.
How does it feel to sit in the Sisterhood Campfire Circle?
Connection – Community
Can you feel a longing inside? A hollow feeling, the emptiness of an unmet need. It’s hard to put your finger on what it is exactly. I’ve felt this hollow in myself in the past and only when I stepped into a women’s circle was there a profound internal change in me. I felt like ‘I’D COME HOME’.
This is a felt sense, not something the mind can make sense of. This feeling isn’t something you get from being with family or on fun a night out with friends or from buying something. It is deep nourishment. Simply BEing you is enough. You feel nurtured from the inside because you’re connecting to other like-hearted women in the Sisterhood Campfire.
At the Sisterhood Campfire we create meaning together. We learn about ourselves through being in relationship with others.
Your soul calls you to sit in a Woman’s Circle
Our lives are busy. So many things call for our attention every minute of the day. We are habituated to being available to others through our phones 24/7. All this means we lose sense of who we are. The Sisterhood Campfire is a safe space, a quiet space within the busyness of life to reconnect to core of who you are. Experience clarity, awareness and reconnection to your knowing.
We visualise, relax, journal and deepen into exploring ourselves, with the intention of unfolding. Stripping away the masks we wear. Liberating ourselves from the things that no longer serve us.
The embodiment practices at the Campfire allow you to reconnect with your body. This is time for you, a gift to yourself. You will feel calm and centred. If you dedicate time to coming to the Campfire, you will reconnect to your intuition.
Deepening your Roots
As this is a safe sacred space, there is an Initiation Ceremony, If you want to join the Online Sisterhood Campfire you need to speak from your heart and claim your seat by the fire. You set your intention to be part of the Circle. You will be witnessed by others as you step into the Circle. We support and celebrate each other. This is a loving space where you can move from your busy mind into your open heart. We have the intentions to be ourselves. We hold space and listen with heart to one another. This radical unconditional love and it allows us to deepen into self-acceptance.
Here we pause the journey of life and take time to rest and reflect, by the fire, in the company of like-minded women. This space allows us to deepen our roots. From this place we can take a higher perspective on life. We are no longer in the drama. Feel grounded and centred in who you are. Become aware of life’s lessons and with this awareness comes the liberty of new choices.
The Campfire is a close group. After the Initiation new women are absorbed into the group without compromising our depth, vulnerability and realness. Over time the depth of openness and intimacy builds and becomes stronger – we are fiercely protective of that. We are exploring feminine spiritual practices. We are meeting in a space beyond the mind and the personality. We are exploring new and radical ways to nourish each other as women.
Every Woman’s Circle is different. Some are places to chat about the past or share worries about the future. This Circle supports you to stay present. The power to make changes in your life is in the present moment. Your practices here in the Sisterhood Campfire will ripple out in your life. After the Circle there is a time for informal connection and chat around the virtual tea urn. We are women and we like to chat. There is space for it all.
Let all the pretences fly.
It is time.
Are you joining us?
Testimonial
“Last night I sat in Sarah Nicholson’s Sisterhood Campfire circle for the first time. Sarah brought us into the circle through meditation and visualisation, creating a really strong connection with all members of the group.
Sarah led us with some energy awareness exercises – what it was to be present and connecting, opening us up to how our interactions with each other feel, through sharing and listening. Everything about the experience was considered and focused. We had breakout rooms, which were used to have more one to one experienced conversation and listening.
I really enjoyed the full experience, having done 3 of Sarah’s previous courses, I knew to expect a clear and strong development, what I loved was the gentle relaxed way she held the circle and kept raising our awareness, opening up our conscious awareness. “
Bridget Bernadette Karn
Sisterhood Circle – why do we need it?
Sisterhood Circle – why do we need it?
Is your busy life full of thinking, thinking, thinking? Do you end up feeling frazzled, tired, empty or flat? Is there is a sense of overwhelm being not far behind you, nearly catching you up and the fear of it derailing you? Do you feel tired of continually pretending to be something you are not? Do others seem to have it all sorted out and you feel a mess? Are you fed up with comparing yourself to others?
Do you want to unhook from all that doing in your life but you don’t know how? Does your life lack meaning? Finding the bottom of the wash-basket isn’t fulfilling. Do you feel isolated and alone? Are you disconnected from others when connection is what you want more than anything? Are you tired of the inauthenticity all around us?
A Sisterhood Circle is a sacred space. It is a safe space to take off your masks of mother, wife, lover, employee, daughter and ease back into being yourself. Being held and holding others allows us all to relax on a deeper level. There is no need to perform and act a certain way. If the tears need to flow, they are welcome. Releasing the emotion enables us to heal.
Our ancestors sat in circles.
This was a powerful time. The knowledge of many was brought together and shared across generations of women. Sharing circles enable women to respond to their life challenges with greater dignity and grace. In the circle they would also support each other to sort out the problems in the tribe. This is a foundation block of the community’s dynamic in indigenous cultures and it’s why its resurfacing as a global phenomenon.
This is a place to celebrate feminine strength. One of our defining feminine strengths is being able to be vulnerable. In Circle we witness each other’s challenges. We aren’t there to fix you. You aren’t broken. We trust in you and your journey. When you open and allow yourself to be raw and honest with yourself on a deeper level, you’ll open to soul level insights into your life. Taking responsibility for yourself, your beliefs, thoughts and actions is the detonator for personal transformation. We hold a loving compassionate space for you as you journey.
The Circle has its own magic. Each woman comes to circle present for herself and others. Presence is the magic. We hold space and listen with heart to one another. This is your space to befriend authenticity. When you open to this community you feel connected and supported. The Circle helps women identify and master their personal lessons.
Because of the challenges we experience individually as women, as well as the collective awakening our planet is facing, we need spaces to feel safe. As we individually and collectively look deeper at our beliefs, actions and their consequences we feel a seismic change ripping our old world apart. We are being shaken to our core as we become more and more aware of how connected we all are to each other in our global village.
How do you feel about joining a Sisterhood Circle?
Are you a little anxious? I encourage you go under the feeling and find out what fear is under there. Do you fear being judged or kept small by other women? These fears are common, read my bog about the Sister Wound. If you want to clear these beliefs, I encourage you invest your time and resource in my workshops to Heal the Sister Wound. These fears are part of us until we confront them and create a new story, one where women support each other to shine.
The Sisterhood Circle I have created, is called the Sisterhood Campfire. We are all on life’s journey and this is an opportunity to stop like a weary traveller by the fire. Take time to relax, be yourself, feel your achievements, your challenges and be present with yourself. Be present and open to the wisdom of the Circle. Every time you join you will learning something new about yourself.
If you have more questions, book a complimentary 20 minute call. I encourage you to find out community and your own deep sense of belonging.
Are the eyes in the mirror the eyes of a woman you respect?
The 8th March is International Women’s Day. It’s a time of reflection for me. Why do we need this day? Why do we still need to highlight the discrepancy and inequalities? Why do they still exist? It may be a struggle for women in other countries, but why are women still underrepresented in positions of power in my country? Why is there a pay gap between men and women? How does this situation continue to be perpetuated? Glennon Doyle says “You need to look dead into your own eyes – at your real self. You need to make sure there are no lies there. You need to make sure the eyes in the mirror are the eyes of a woman you respect.”
Do women not value themselves?
I see amazing capable women in all walks of life. Why aren’t they leaders and decision-makers? Why aren’t we creating a world that is more compassionate and supports everyone in our society? Women are just as capable as men, so what creates this situation? Do women not value themselves?
The gender pay-gap
Women are usually paid 17% less than men. Men ask for things that will advance themselves four times more than women. Typically, me will ask sixteen times a year for things that will advance them. They don’t get everything they ask for, but because they ask for so many things, they will get something’s. They will ask to be released from time consuming tasks, and they be given to junior staff member. They will ask for referrals. Men hustle more. 20% of women say the never negotiate. Why is this? Why do women settle with what they have been given? Do they think they aren’t worthy of more?
This is about beliefs!
This isn’t about capability. This is about beliefs. How do women get trained to settle for less? If you are a woman, how have you had your wings clipped and been put in a cage without realising it? Or in your heart, do you realise you are caged, not reaching your full potential, but you don’t know how to change your situation? What beliefs have you taken onboard that mean you don’t ask for what you want? Doyle in her book Untamed reflects “If we keep passing down the legacy of martyrdom to our daughers, with whom will it end? Which woman ever gets to lie? And when does the death sentence begin?”
Do you know what you want?
In Untamed, Doyle lists what women desire:
“I want a minute to take a deep breath.
I want rest, peace, passion.
I want good food and true, wild, intimate sex.
I want a relationships with no lies.
I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
I want to be seen, to be loved.
I want joy and safety for my children and fro everyone else’s children. I want justice for all.
I want help, community, and connection.
I want to be forgiven, and I finally want to forgive.
I want enough money and power to stop feeling afraid.
I want to find my purpose down here and live it out fully.
I want to look at the news and see less pain, more love.
I want to look at the people in my life and really see them and love them.
I want to look in the mirror and really see myself and love myself.
I want to feel alive.
If women trusted and claimed their desires, the world as we know it would crumble. Perhaps that is precisely what needs to happen so we can rebuild a truer, more beautiful lives, relationships, families, and nations in their place.” Do you know what you want? I ask this pertinent question as you will settle for what’s happening if you don’t have a vision of what you want in your life.
What do you want in the next year? What do you want in the next 3 -5 years? I want women to be able to affect positive change in the world. To use their gifts of creating community, cooperation and cocreation. Why are we still celebrating International Women’s Day and highlighting inequality if we need these gifts in the world? Why are we in this mess? Data shows that a woman will have to be able to meet 95% of the criteria for a role before she will apply. Whereas a man will apply on matching 60% of the criteria. They see themselves as potential!
How do we raise girls in a way that creates these belief systems which result in them hold themselves back? If we can get a grip on that, we can stop perpetuating these beliefs.
How we are socialised
- Girls are socialised to be good and focus on the needs of others.
Boys are encouraged to be pushy, get ahead, set a goal and do it. Self-determination.
- Society doesn’t like aggressive women; it stigmatises them calling them bossy or selfish.
How we are regarded by our peers our friends affect our actions. If you head into a room of teenage girls and boys, groups of friends chilling, watching a film and ask “who want pizza?” you will get different reactions. Notice! The boys will self- resource and decide if they want pizza, they’ll say yes of no. The girls will look at each other to see what their friends want to do. Do they want pizza? There’ll be a spokeswoman for the group who will speak for them saying yes or no. These young women are already socialised to put the needs of others before themselves, to be liked, to fit in, to be acceptable.
Workplace values
“…women leaders often get conflicting feedback — told on the one hand that they’re too bossy or aggressive, but on the other that they should be more confident and assertive. A huge body of work has found that when women are collaborative and communal, they are not perceived as competent—but when they emphasize their competence, they’re seen as cold and unlikable, in a classic “double bind.” say Smith, Rosenstein & Nikolov.
Releasing negative societal biases is all our responsibility.
We need new ways of working to create a better society and businesses. People say what makes a successful leader are the positive traits such as compassion, which women leaders receive in their performance evaluations. Smith, Rosenstein & Nikolov ask “So why isn’t this translating into more women in these roles? It’s one thing to describe an ideal leader, it’s another to describe a real person’s performance without being influenced by stereotypes about their gender, or stereotypes about what a leader should be.”
I am sure this blog has just clarified what you know in your heart and from experience. However, I’m not here to just complain about the situation. I encourage you to change. I encourage you to ripple change through you, out into life. Becoming aware is the first step. It takes deep honesty to see how we are part of the systems and how we perpetuate them by our complicity. Selfless women make for an efficient society but not a beautiful, true or just one! When women lose themselves, the world loses its way.
It’s time to step forward shoulder to shoulder with other women. Let’s help those behind us by bringing them up to our level. Celebrate and stand up for women ahead of us as they are cutting the trail to a better future. Doyle asks “What if a responsible mother is not one who shows her children how to slowly die but how to stay wildly alive until the day she dies?” I’m an auntie, I see myself as an elder and it is my responsibility to bring my wisdom to the world through my actions.
I create safe spaces for women to take off their masks. Places where they can be in a circle with other women. This is an ancient way, that has supported women for millennia, taken online in our modern world. Join my free taster: Experience the Sisterhood Campfire session on Thursday at 7pm This is a time to relax and reconnect to your feminine wisdom.
If you recognise that you have lost yourself to our culture’s arbitrary expectations and you want a straight and direct root back to yourself… YOU, no onelse, then join my 10-week transformational programme. Value Yourself is what is says on the tin. It reconnects you to your truth, the wisdom of your life. What we need are women that are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trust herself to say and do what must be done.
How can we create change in 2021? Be the change you want to see. You are the permission slip for other women and men to do something different. We can change the world through our beliefs, thoughts and actions. Black Lives Matter proves it! Now let’s change the world for 51% of the population! Let’s support each other to thrive.
This is a challenge to women in the workplace:
- How will you support women colleague and enable their success?
- What support structures are needed to create a supportive network for women within your organisation?
- Men as allies – the Millennial generation are much more likely to want time with their families, holidays and things women want. Connect with them as fathers of daughters, feminist and work with them to create a new culture.
This is a challenge to women outside the workplace:
- How can you encourage girls to grow up as self-determined?
- What will you show you value in a girl/woman? What will you say to her when you compliment her? Do you comment on how she looks or what she does?
- How can you support her to get the skills she needs to be able to negotiate for what she wants in life?
Message me info@explorediscover.me if you want to know how I can facilitate workshops and ongoing women’s support networks in your business.
As always, every great journey starts with the first few steps. What will yours be? I’m interested to know your thoughts, please share them in the comments below. How have you been tamed? What do you desire? How will you reclaim you?
The Goddess of Never Not Broken
Do you feel you are in a state of flux, disorientated and unsure of the future? This is a natural state and we all feel it at some time in our lives. Although it may feel uncomfortable it opens new possibilities for your future. You no longer have a well worn route, doing the same things day after day, you can do or be whatever you want.
This article helps us see the gifts of this way of being: “there is a goddess from Hindu mythology that teaches us that, in this moment, in this pile on the floor, you are more powerful than you’ve ever been.”
When you have read the article do let me know what you think. Are you riding the crocodile?
2020 Winter Solstice – what do you choose for your 2021?
We have all been through a transformational 2020. Whether your work has changed, your financial circumstances, there have been dramatic adjustments to seeing family and friends, as well as your liberties have been constrained. We live in a world with different rules to the one we were in 12 months ago. This Winter Solstice a very potent time. This blog will give you guiding question to help you release 2020 and get ready to welcome in 2021.
Journal prompts
I encourage you to grab your journal a cuppa and settle down for 20 minutes of reflection and visioning. Take a few deeper slow breaths, relax into your body and allow your awareness and answers to come from your heart rather than your head. Complete the following:
For me, the last year has been…
What I have learned is…
I am most proud of…
What good things have happened?
What have been your favourite moments?
What have been your most difficult moments?
What have you learned about yourself?
What has become more important to you?
One word to describe what you are letting of/releasing in 2020:
You may have heard that Jupiter and Saturn will be so close together that they will be seen as one bright star. This is been likened to the Star in Bethlehem. You may want to head out and look in the South West direction for this amazing spectacle. This is a time of great change for the planets. We are affected by their energies and it helps us to understand what is happening.
What does this mean? Saturn represents discipline, structure – this can be yourself and structure and discipline exerted on the masses by external forces. Jupiter is unfolding spirituality and bestower of gifts. Today be aware of these two elements in your life as you set your intentions for the coming year.
You may have also heard that we are stepping into a new age, the age of Aquarius. What does this mean? The last age was Pisces, an earth sign, Aquarius is an air sign. Things won’t feel so heavy. There will be new inspiration, working with technologies and finding new innovative solutions. Aquarius is free-spirited, progressive, original, independent, humanitarian. As Maressa Brown explains that “this period will be about learning and growth around how we as individuals contribute to and affect — for better or worse — the world around us, whether that’s a collaborative effort with colleagues or fellow environmental protection activists. It’ll be about putting in the work and reaping the benefits of trading “me” for “we.”
Journal Prompts for 2021
What is your vision for the future?
What needs to die to make space for your vision?
What is working for you?
If you knew you couldn’t fail, what do you think you’d be doing that you aren’t now?
What is important to you?
How can you be disciplined to create the life you want?
What are you known for?
What do you want to be known for?
What do you need to let go of to align with the new you?
What spiritual gifts are there for you, if you choose to elevate your frequency by stepping out of fear and allow more love into your life?
What is your word for 2020?
What is your first step towards that?
Aquarius is a future-focused sign. Get clear on your vision for your future. Transformation comes from the inside out. Give your self 20 minutes to get clear on your next year. Please share below any insights on your 2020 or what you want to create in 2021.
Happy Solstice
Sarah
Top tips for December
Moving into December 2020, this blog will support you to finish the year gracefully. We are in the dark half of the year, short days and long nights. This is a time for rest, being, surrendering. The time of year to go inward. When we didn’t have electrical lights, we had to slow with the rhythm of the seasons. This article will give you tips on how to move with more ease through the darkness.
What has the pandemic taught us?
This dark time, the end of autumn as we approach winter is a time to take stock of the year that we experienced. 2020 has been an exceptional year. We have all been in the workshop of life! It has shaken us to our core, made us review what we took for granted and reminded us to appreciate the small things in life.
Many people’s perspective has been changed by their experiences. Previously their life focused on the future and doing. They looked forward to Friday, to going away, the next holiday, they wanted it to be sunny so they could be busy outdoors. The pandemic ended our ability move around and plan with certainty. People’s focus became more about being in the moment and gratitude for what was around them. There was a depth to people’s experiences. Life became about quality, not quantity. Many realised they had been time poor and their health was suffering previously. It has been a big awakening.
Life review without judgement
We can take this quality of being that was cultivated during lockdown and relax back into it. This darkness the time to review your life without judgement. Notice where you are. How does it feel? Just sit quietly, take a slow deep breaths and exhale slowly. Allow yourself to relax. Drop your awareness down to your heart space. Do you feel you are on your path in life? Or does it feel like you are in the gravel or deep sand not going anywhere? Listen to your body, your feeling. What do you sense? Be honest with where you are.
Keep your pockets full of dreams
You know where you are and but do you know where you want to go? Keep your pockets full of dreams because life is a test of faith. What’s the most positive vision you have about your life? What does it look like? How do you ideally see yourself? There’s lots of change in the world and you may feel a need for change in your life. Now is the time to get clear on what that means. You may be choosing a new destination for your life.
New destination
Before this year we were swept along on a narrative which encouraged people to work long hours so they could buy lots of thigs and escape on holiday. What 2020 has taught many is that this way of being wasn’t fulfilling. Time to review their life has enabled their suppressed dreams to bubble o the surface. They are aligning themselves onto their path, getting out of the old rut and stepping into their Life Purpose.
She woke up one morning
In the wrong life,
With no damn idea.
Shock ruptured her soul,
Searching for something –
Nothing was there.
Shaken to her core,
Anxiety fuelled sad
Tears stung her face,
Panic ripped her heart,
Sadness stole her eyes
And truth ran through cold.
She woke up one morning
“You got yourself in this, you get yourself out!”
She focused in tight
On glimpses of light,
One day at a time
She got out of her hole.
Freedom felt close,
Energy soared.
A decision was made,
She trusted herself,
Walked straight out the door
And let her wings bring her home. Lynette Allen
What is your Life Purpose?
Now is a good time to do a life review without judgement. I encourage you to check in with yourself. What emotion are you feeling a lot of the time? If you are in a negative space, I encourage you to identify what’s knocking you off course. Are you doing the thing you love doing in life? What brings you joy and fulfilment? You’ll know what it is because even if you aren’t getting paid, you love doing it. You’ll get so absorbed and not notice the time passing.
Embrace the stillness of this time of year. Without stillness nothing new can be created. Take time to be still, go within and listen. Review the past year, learn from all your experiences. Notice how you have grown and developed through these unique times. Celebrate your successes.
What is time to let go of?
You are different, with different friends to the young girl you were many years ago. Everything changes. Trying to stay the same is unnatural. First, you must let go of the old you to make space for the new you. This is like a snake shedding it’s skin. You need to hide under a rock, while you grow and the new you forms. Embrace stillness and allow yourself to hear the wisdom. What are you becoming? In the darkness, what seeds do you need to plant in your life?
If you want support as we move into the darkness to find your path, do get in touch. Schedule a 20 minute complimentary call
Enjoy the gifts of the darkness and stillness.
Celebrating the beauty of a middle-aged woman
Its autumn in the UK and I love this time of year, the turning of the colours. Things move out of vivid colours to richer tones. A woman’s life can be linked to the seasons and I’m in the autumn of my life. I am an Autumn Queen. In this blog, I going to share my musings about nature and why women’s middle aged bodies are beautiful.
A woman’s life in seasons
As I said the seasons can be linked to the phases of a woman’s life. Spring is the girl/maiden, after her first period she moves into Summer the mother, which is a time of creation – this may be work it doesn’t have to be children. Autumn in the peri-menopause, the time of letting go of the old that no longer serves us in our lives, like the trees let go of their leaves. We bring the harvest of our experience to those we serve. Finally, there is winter, the crone, this about endings and there has to be an ending for there to be something new.
The bust of Nefertiti was found in an Egyptian tomb in 1913. This changed the west’s perception of beauty. Out went the curvy renaissance woman with her feminine body a soft tummy. Nefertiti was a new kind of beauty, slim and angular, you will be familiar with this form in photoshoots in magazines. Models are chosen to represent this idea of beauty.
Not many women’s bodies are naturally the shape that is portrayed. It’s statistically unrealistic to have a model body. Letting go of the idea that any of us need to conform to this beauty industry concept is very freeing.
Nature’s beauty
Heading out the house into nature makes me feel relaxed. There’s the grandeur and strength of the trees that have been growing many more years than I have been alive. They will outlast me. The magic and delight of seeing a beautiful flower, a colourful leaf or the stain glass colours of the sun through the leaves. Nothing is perfect but it’s all brings a sense of awe.
Looking at the autumn leaves, I marvel at the beautiful colours as the trees reclaim the chlorophyll, the reds, browns, oranges and yellows. I realised that the tree trunks of the trees all had unique shapes. None of them were perfectly straight and unblemished, the idea tree. They had been moulded by the space they lived in and they each looked beautiful to me. They are each more interesting because they are unique, their shape, ripples, sagging, knots and scar tissue.
Autumn in nature and the Autumn Queen
I realise that trees, leaves and flowers are beautiful because they aren’t perfect. In my blog Women reclaim your bodies I encouraged women to celebrate their bodies as the beautiful vessels of their experiences. We are older, wiser and our bodies show it, just like the magnificent tree trunk with its ripples, sagging and scars.
I see the tree as magnificent. I wondered, is my body as an Autumn Queen magnificent? Only I, decide whether the answer is yes or no. I choose the lens of beauty – is it renaissance or Nefertiti or something else? When I look in the mirror, I choose whether to judge the reflection or not and by what standards. I want my body to flourish. I want to take pleasure in being me. I choose to love my body and l know am magnificent, curves, scars and all.
When you look in the mirror… what do you see?
Do you see your magnificence?
Are you proud of who you are?
Every woman should know she is beautiful. I want you to know in your bones you are beautiful. If you are struggling to move your mindset and allow this truth in, join my powerful free workshop: Love Who You Are. You can also work with me one to one as your Embodiment Coach, where we can get to the core of your particular situation and weed out destructive beliefs from your past. Free yourself to be magnificent!
How to look beautiful naturally everyday
Can you look beautiful? When you look at yourself in a mirror are you happy with what you see? When you look at yourself are you very judgmental? Are you as judgmental with other people as you are yourself? This article will enable you to unpick your thought process and help you to look beautiful naturally every day.
As a teenager I didn’t think I was pretty. Now aged 49, when I look back at photos of myself, I don’t think my view was accurate. I see a beautiful girl. In my 20s and 30s I didn’t like having my photo taken or looking at myself in the mirror. Is this sounding familiar? Do you also avoid looking at yourself in the mirror? How can you look at yourself and be happy with what you see? Let’s journey together and see what we can find to solve this problem. If you are happier with how you look, you will feel happier inside.
What does beautiul mean?
Let’s start with beauty. What do you think is beautiful? You need to understand your idea of beauty is to be able to achieve it. If you don’t, there’s no target, you’re firing all over the place hoping to hit something. Let’s be clear, we are talking about natural beauty, not huge fake eyelashes and thick make up that doesn’t allow your skin to breathe. That’s not natural beauty, it’s fake.
What does beauty look like to you? Can women your age look beautiful? Can women older than you look beautiful? If you answered no to either of these questions, where did you get this view? Was it from magazines and marketing images full of pubescent models? Our society reveres youth and those are the images we see everywhere. Have you been programmed to think that young equates with beautiful without you realising it?
Do you have friends your age that are naturally beautiful women? What is it about them? Are they confident and fun? Do they shine from the inside out? When they laugh do you see their laughter-lines in their face? Does this make them beautiful?
I think older women are beautiful. For a start, we should be celebrate getting to our beautiful older age. We all know of men and women that haven’t lived as long as us. I see beauty in the lines of an older woman’s face, she is wearing her wisdom. But it’s her eyes that sparkle with mischief and fun that give her face beauty. No make up can give you that – it is vibrant and untamed.
How can I be beautiful?
How do I get that natural beauty you ask? That vibrancy comes from inside. Look at yourself in the mirror and noticing all the parts of you that you like. What do you see that is beautiful? Are your eyes beautiful? Do you like the shape of your face, your lips, the colour of your skin? I bet you can list lots of things you aren’t happy with about your appearance. My challenges to you is to find 3 things you like about your face and features, then find another one and another and another…
If you don’t you will be repeating my mistake. I thought I wasn’t beautiful as a teenage, in my 20s and 30s but I look back at old photos of me and a I see a beautiful woman that was unhappy with herself which made her sad. It was a waste of my life. I had bought into cultural stories about how I needed to look subconsciously, and this was making me feel inadequate. It was destroying my self-esteem.
In my 40s I realised that a load of utter crap was going round in my head which made me miserable. I decided to end its hold over me. It was journey in which I reclaimed being beautiful me. You too can do this too if you want.
We started looking at your views about beauty. I hope you have widened your definition of beauty. You will have identified radiant women of your age and older. What do you like about their faces? Do you also have this quality? You are looking for more positive things you like about yourself. It’s time to be loving and compassionate with yourself.
Shine your beauty
When you love yourself, the confidence flows from the inside out. You are more relaxed, life is more fun and you smile more. It’s time to look in the mirror and look yourself in the eyes and say “hey beautiful, you’re looking gorgeous today”. I do this after I get out the shower in the morning. This may seem very un-British, but who cares? You feel great, you are cheering yourself on in life. Give it a go! It might feel award at first, a bit false, but go for it until you really mean it. Love the woman looking back at you. Thank your gorgeous body for being your container in this life. You will look in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes with love and know you look naturally beautiful.
Let me know how you felt about your appearance in the different phases of your life. Email me about how working with the mirror goes via info@explorediscover.me If you need more support in this personal journey reach to me via email or a 20 minute complimentary chat: https://explorediscover.me/free-online-coaching/