Author: abundance111

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Compassionate Kit Bag

Your Tool Kit for Life’s Journey
A Compassionate Kit Bag is a place to put reminders for your compassionate self, so you can use your resources to nourish you along life’s journey.

You can use any bag or box or other container. If you are feeling challenged by your journey, you have these self-nurturing items with you help you connect to your strength. Collect together items that are meaningful, or those you know will be helpful.

You might find these items inspiring, empowering, calming, soothing, motivating, bringing confidence, strength, calm composure and wisdom. Some items you might choose may have some sadness attached by their association with an event or person. You will need to decide if it is right to include this item.

If you physically cannot put the item in the bag or box, then perhaps use a reminder of the item, for example, a picture of an iPod, mp3 player.

Start small
You may have some items that you immediately know would fit in this compassionate kit bag. As a traveller you don’t want big items, choose a few important items that make you feel good about yourself perhaps they bring up a positive memory, or represent something that is important, inspiring, motivating or gives you a boost in some way.

Consider:

  • Music
  • A talking book, self help or calming mp3
  • Pictures/postcards
  • Smells – oils, favourite perfume or a sachet of coffee
  • Reminder of compassionate image (self or other)
  • Book, poem, quotes
  • Letter or cards from family or friends
  • Objects with meaning
  • Hobby e.g. drawing, photography
  • Reminders of your strengths
  • Grounding or soothing objects – soft woolly socks or blanket, hand or foot lotion, massage oil, warm bubble bath, nail varnish, make-up, bracelet
  • Fruity snack or treat

Keep your compassionate kit bag nearby, maybe next to your bed to remind yourself every day how strong and loved you are. It will help you ground yourself and connect with your inner strength. You will bounce back up and feel empowered.

I believe in you. Go for it!

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Travel Self-Care Tips

Travel can be challenging. It doesn’t always go to plan. You’re in an ever-changing environment with new people all the time. It can be an onslaught to the senses, a culture-shock at times, which pushes you out of your comfort zone. Don’t be ******* yourself if one morning, one afternoon or one evening you feel a bit deflated or overwhelmed by it all. It’s perfectly normal.

It’s normal, but it isn’t something you want to indulge in. Notice how you feel. Have a think about it, why is this happening? What has knocked you out of your stride? A quiet moment journaling can help you get to the bottom of the issue, acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. This clarity may be all you need to move through it. Think about it in this way – open the front door, let the feeling in, understand it accept it and then open the back door and let it out. No inviting it in for a cup of tea, to sit down and make itself at home. You don’t want or need that negativity in your life.

First things first. Why is it happening? Why are you feeling down? Is there any physical reason?

  1. Have you drunk enough water? Are you dehydrated?
  2. Have you eaten? Has your blood-sugar crashed?
  3. Did you get enough sleep? Are you tired and grumpy?
  4. Are you too hot or too cold?

Malsow’s Hierarchy of needs makes its clear that we need to take care of the basics first.

Think about the questions above and write the answers below. This is just checking-in with yourself. It’s basic self-care. You need to be kind, like you would to a small child and see if there’s something that needs fixing at the first level.

Is there any physiological reason for you feeling bad?

1.
2.
3.

Things you can do to address the imbalance:

1.
2.
3.

This basic self-care needs to be a priority in life, all the time. It stops things before they start becoming a problem. They keep you in your equilibrium, your happy rested and energized state, ready to take on the world.

Sleep, Safety and Security

If you aren’t getting good sleep, you will be tired, and it will affect your awareness and ability to make good decisions. Sleep is so important. Think about where you are staying. Is it the best place for you now?

  1. Are you getting a good night’s sleep?
  2. Is it too noisy?
  3. Do you feel safe?
  4. Do your belongings feel safe?

If any of these questions help you pinpoint a problem, it’s helpful. Now you need to decide what you want to do about it.

Do you want to move or stay?

When you are tired, and it all feels overwhelming the last thing you want to do is pack your backs and put yourself out on the street. So, let’s take this one step at a time.

I’m going to share a story with you. I went to Cuzco in Peru. I was booked on the Inca trail trek and I had a couple of days before the trek to acclimatise and do a bit of sightseeing. I booked myself into a hostel close to the center. I got there, booked a trip that left at 4.30am the following day, packed my kit ready and went to bed. There were doors slamming and people putting the light on and banging their kit about through the night. I had booked into the party hostel! We had different aspirations.

After my day trip, I looked for a different hostel, moved 50m down the hill and got a nice bed in a quiet hostel with great food and showers. It was a great upgrade!

What do you want at your new accommodation?

1.
2.
3.

You now have a checklist of key criteria for your search of the local area. If you have stayed in the town/city for a night, you will be learning where the noisy streets are with traffic and people. You can either head towards the noise and action or head away from it depending on what you want to do with your time.

Accommodation Options

If you want a quiet sociable place to stay, look for a quiet hostel or a family run guesthouse. Guidebooks also give details of popular hotels. I’ve done my homework and found places locally that might be good, but I’ll go down and ask at reception for a recommendation. Other travelers have heard me asking and invited me to join them, as they were just heading that way.

If you want to be on your own a hotel may be best. You can hide in your room on your own or be sociable in the communal spaces if you choose.

Time alone

Sometimes we just need our own space, time to hide from the constant change and just do a bit of self-nurturing. This is a time to be quiet and calm yourself. Ground yourself so you feel whole a stable rather that in a busy whirlwind that’s pulling you all out of shape.

If you keep a travel journal, writing up the last few days may be a good way to acknowledge all the things you have been doing. How busy you have been, what you have achieved. It is a step towards understanding how much you are putting yourself through. When you are at home you aren’t doing different things every 24 hours, there are some familiar routines, space to unwind.

Travel journal can be mini-scrapbooks, full of your tickets, postcards, pictures from leaflets and your own drawings. Having a quiet, creative, reflective few hours can be all you need to get you back on track. You’ll feel proud of who you are, what you are doing. Acknowledging all the feelings you’re experiencing as you explore this new land is also important. Sometimes we are awed by the beauty and brought to tears, sometimes devastated by the poverty and squalor. Not being able to do anything about it makes us feel helpless and possibly angry.

You may not be able to change the world, but you are responsible for how you choose to act. Treating people with loving kindness always is a choice. If you decide you want to do something to solve a problem you have seen, you can choose to do so. It’s your life and you need to do what’s right for you.

Get out into Nature

You can always choose to do something different. Being in a busy city may not be the best environment for you. It could make you feel lonely and overwhelmed. Maybe it was a great when you were planning, but now you’re there, it’s just not right. Sometimes being in nature is the best place. It helps us feel grounded and calm. Being on a tropical beach or staying in a bungalow in the forest where you can admire the Milkway at night can be humbling and enriching.

I suggest you meditate to calm your mind and get clarity. Below is a guide on accessing your inner quiet space. This will allow you to relax and settle yourself.

Accessing your inner quiet space

There’s lots about meditation and mindfulness now. Whether you have your own practice or not, I offer this meditation to you. This is to help you access your inner stillness and your intuition.

Find yourself and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably with your back straight and your feet on the floor, hands in your lap or lie down. Take three slow deep breathes in to the bottom of your belly, to help you relax. Feel the contact of your body, where it meets the chair or bed. Feel the support and allow yourself to relax deeper.

Now breathe in slowly and as you breathe out, I want you to drop down a layer in your consciousness. It’s just like dropping through a trapdoor and floating to the next layer below. Don’t rush this just go one layer at a time. To be honest your mind will probably try to distract you with chatter, just stay at that layer until you quieten your mind, then, breather in and as you breathe out float down to the next layer. You will go down several layers and, in the end, you will find yourself in a dark and quiet space. It’s like finding the ground. This is your quiet space. When you are ready you can come back up.

You can access this any time you want. It is very grounding and centering. It gets easier and quicker to access the more you practice. This meditation reminds you that you are more than just the chatter in your head. There is an inner quiet space that you can access. You may want to take a few moments and write about your experience in your journal.

Understand your feelings

Human have had to survive all sorts of different environments and different dangers. You will have heard of Fight or Flight. This is our inbuilt system that looks out for dangers and acts to keep us safe. We get a spike of adrenaline that will allow us run away or fight our way from the danger. Previously, dangers were simply Wooly Mammoths. Now in our complex world many things can seem to be a dangerous, the internet, the traffic and strangers.

Not all strangers mean us harm, in fact the majority are very friendly and are willing to help. The situation isn’t always dangerous. You may have a lot of false alarms going off. Feeling anxious because you are stressed, and think you are under attack it’s a sustainable situation. You need time to relax your body. Let it know you’re safe, so it can turn off all the alarms and rest properly. Doing some deep breathing exercises to connect with your body and the meditation above will make a real difference.

You need to calm yourself. Let your brain know that not everything is dangerous. Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s dangerous. Going out into the world and experiencing something new can be stressful at first as you see in the graph below. But the more you do it, the more normal it seems, and you no longer feel stressed.

Habituation Graph

When I travel, I take a few specific things with me to make me feel special, connected, comforted and enable me to be creative, as I’ve explained with the Travel Journal.

These are my self-soothing tools.

If it’s my birthday or Christmas while I’m away, I’ll take a few cards and a little present to open. I make sure I have my own room, I make a fuss of myself, putting my cards up and opening a present. I might have bought myself a gift, such as a bracelet I can wear. I have energising music playing (I like dance music and electro-swing). I do something creative or go out somewhere special. This is a great time to do exactly what you want.

If I need to calm myself, I need space to nurture myself. Breathing exercises make me focus on breathing down into my body. This focuses my mind and gets me in touch with how my body feels. I have a Chill-out playlist that I listen to or I can use a guided meditation.

Using nice bath products and moisturisers makes me feel special. I carry a little pot of nail varnish on long trip and paint my toenails. I have a bit of perfume to make me feel feminine.

How can you self-nurture as you travel? List items you can take:

Calming?
Inspiring?
Confidence?

Make sure you make self-care a priority and put together your own compassionate kit bag. I have detailed what you could include below. This isn’t an afterthought; this is core to making sure you can flex with whatever comes your way.

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3 Ways to challenge yourself in 2020

 

What’s a challenge?

Whatever’s a bit difficult for you – something you can’t do easily is a challenge. Doing something a bit difficult is a way of learning a new skill, developing your knowledge or competence and increasing the number of things you can do in life. When you do something new and you master it, it feels great. You are on top of the world. How are you going to challenge yourself in 2020 and get that feel-good factor?

What do you want to try/learn this year?

I love to cook and so I booked on an Asian Cookery Class in York this summer. It was great fun cooking, drinking wine and eating the delicious food we made. What would you like to try/learn?  A new skill? Something fun and physical like axe throwing or more detailed such as a jewellery making workshop.

What are your personal development goals?

One of my 2019 goals was read a book every month. It didn’t need to be a huge book, but it did hep me refocus back in to reading. I love reading and learning. What do you want to learn in 2020? Do you want to travel and be able to speak the language a little? Could learning a new language be your development goal?

What are your physical goals for the year?

In August I walked the West Highland Way a 98mile path in Scotland. It was fabulous and my goal for 2020 is the Dales Way, another long distance walk this time in England. I also want to spend a week cycling in the Orkneys exploring the countryside and ancient sites. Do you want to walk, cycle, paddle somewhere? What would you do? Where would you go?

These are dreams. A dream written down with a date becomes a goal.

Join me on 6th January for the Adventurous Spirit FREE challenge week and set some plans in motion!

Decide to make your 2020 the best year of your life!

 

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Is it your time to go solo?

You don’t need to wait for anyone else to join you on your fabulous trip. Just go and do it! Plenty of ladies are traveling on their own. The BA Global Solo Travel Study of almost 9,000 18-64 year olds found that over 50 percent of women have taken a holiday by themselves, with 75 percent of women planning a solo trip in the next few years. Why not go for it yourself in 2020? Where have you always wanted to go to… Thailand, Spain or some amazing landmark, to see a breath-taking natural wonder such as the Northern Lights or be part of a wonderful cultural event? Which trip first? You can go on your own.

When I speak to ladies who want to travel alone but feel unsure, there are a few recurrent issues.

  1. Can I get the money? Yes, you can, read this Blog.
  2. I’m not confident enough to go. You can develop your confidence to enable you to go traveling.
  3. Is it safe for women to go traveling? The answer to this last one is yes and I’ll share my thoughts on why.

I’m Sarah Nicholson. I absolutely love traveling…. however, I am culturally aware and extensively research the countries I am planning to visit.  Listed below are some of my tips.

Don’t assume anything. Be alert but not alarmed. You need to be aware of what’s going on around you.

COMMUNICATE

Be friendly and smile. You will meet some wonderful people who will help you as you travel the world. Learn a few local phrases like; hello, how much, no, yes and thank you. If you mean no, say it with your words and your body language. Don’t give mixed messages, be very clear.

CLOTHING

Don’t wear an expensive watch, jewelry or clothing. Leave anything that you’d be upset if you lost it, at home. Don’t look like a target. Remember many people in the countries we travel to are dirt poor. They need to make a living, and exploiting tourists is a way of surviving.

PERSONAL SAFETY

Taking care of yourself is your highest priority. Be aware that when you’re tired or sick you naturally let your guard down and are more vulnerable. Get plenty of quality sleep so you’re at your best. You need to make sensible decisions.

Read about the current scams operating in the countries you are planning to visit. Type into your web browser eg  ‘scams in Morocco’. Your personal safety is the most important consideration. Be aware that culturally they may do things in a different way to your home country. In some countries, a woman walking alone at night is an open invitation for sexual harassment. I arrive in the light and plan my route to and from my accommodation in the daylight so I’m confident later. If walking isn’t a good idea, I get a recommendation for a taxi or tuk-tuk. I make sure I know which are the no-go areas in a city and I stay away. Use what you have learned about the country to plan your trip and make it safe.

GUARD WHAT YOU DISCLOSE

I trust my gut instinct about strangers. I am always friendly but don’t need to disclose that I’m traveling alone. If I feel unsure about someone, I let it slip that someone is waiting for me at my accommodation / next destination.

LUGGAGE

I can’t stress this enough, the less luggage you take the better. Be wise with what you pack. It is liberating to realise how little you really need in life. You can wash your clothes along the way. I have one bag on wheels or a backpack (not too heavy) and a little daysack.

My backpack/luggage goes everywhere with me. Yes, this includes to the loo/toilet. NEVER put your bag on the back of a chair.

If you’re traveling on night trains, secure your bag with a cable lock so it can’t be removed.

MONEY

Never put your money in your back pocket. Use small denomination notes like a local. Estimate how much you will spend for the day and keep this amount in your day purse, hide the rest. I use a money belt, with the notes in little plastic bags.

Travel with a minimum of 2 credit cards! It can be a challenge when you arrive in a new country to know which bank card will work with which ATM machine. Having your money slit into different accounts gives you options. Avoid using public ATMs on the street, go into the bank. You can use an RFID sleeve to protect your cards from being scanned.

EATING OUT

Don’t eat from restaurants in the major tourist area. Walk at least one block away and eat with the locals – the food will better and cheaper. Use your instinct to pick the one run by the best lady, she will look after you.

COMPUTER SAFETY

There are fewer internet cafés than there used to be. People seem to travel with a tablet or iPad. DO NOT use public computers to access bank accounts. To enhance your security, use a VPN on mobile phones/computers to access bank accounts.

Before you leave, create a travel email address. Scan your passport and email your travel documents to yourself.

PHONES

Check your contract before you leave and know you can do abroad. If you use a travel SIM make sure the provider speaks your language.

TRAVEL INSURANCE

Always take out travel insurance: if you can’t afford travel insurance then you can afford to travel. Check what your travel insurance does and doesn’t cover, e.g. does it cover repatriation? Most don’t cover adventurous sports such as riding a horse or a motorcycle. If you want to be able to go skiing or white water rafting while you are away, make sure you buy the correct policy.

Expect the unexpected

As I said, I love traveling solo but also like to keep it stress-free. I plan my trips and love learning about the places I’m going to explore. If you want to find out how to plan your own trip, sign up now and join me on Adventurous Spirit in January. You will be traveling solo in 2020. Where will you go first?

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When does your New Year start?

The New Year marks a point in time, where we move from one year to the next, this is a culturally agreed date. Where you’re from, will influence how you think and the customs you’ve taken onboard as your autopilot. Travelling allows us to see these autopilots. Stepping out of our culture into separate set of beliefs and ways of acting makes us aware of what we’ve taken onboard as truth. But is it the Truth with a capital T? The ultimate truth? I’ll share my thoughts about New Year which help highlight our constricted thinking. I’m going to encourage you to turn off your autopilot and consider your Truth with a capital T. Then make some plans for your New Year and new you!

Which is your New Year?
There are many different calendars around the world that measure the passage of time. In China the first day of Chinese New Year begins on the new moon that appears between January 21 and February 20. This is huge festivity with people travelling home to celebrate with family and their community. It is known as the Spring Festival and its traditional for every family to thoroughly clean their house, in order to sweep away any ill-fortune and to make way for incoming good luck. This ritual is a conscious way of letting go of the past year to step into the New Year, clean, fresh and ready for opportunity.

The Gregorian Calendar is the most widely used calendar system today. New Year is celebrated on the 1st January. Wikipedia explains the variety of dates used by different places. You’ll notice the link between location on the globe and the amount of sunlight. Because the New Year is about the start of the new growing season. This is true for us internally as well – that’s why we make New Year’s resolutions to consciously develop our growth in ways we want.

Ancient wisdom
To ancient people the return of the sun was a time for celebration. It was the start of the New Year. More daylight meant spring was on its way, a time to plant crops and more food security. These were a very knowledgeable and sophisticated people. Neolithic people used stone tools and they had a very accurate understanding of the passing of the seasons through the movement of the sun. The Winter Solstice on 21st December marks the shortest day of the year and the longest night. After this, we in the northern hemisphere get a little more daylight each day up to the Summer Solstice on 21st June. I travelled to Newgrange a Neolithic tomb to be part of this ancient celebration of the return of the sun.

Stonehenge in England a famous standing stone temple that lines up with the summer and winter solstice. There are more detailed carvings on the stones facing the Winter Solstice, showing that this was the more important orientation. The return of the sun was the most momentous time of year. Travelling to Newgrange to be part of the Winter Solstice celebration was a new experience for me. I was following my intuition. I knew I should be there, but I wasn’t sure what to expect.

At Newgrange I learned that Neolithic people clothed themselves using hides from deer and other animals. They knitted using the fibres from sheep and dogs. Dogs! I realised that I had culturally accepted that we use the fur of sheep. Dogs have fur, that’s soft. They need their coats cutting so why did this seem a new concept to me, as it is an obvious use of resources? I had just shone a light on a cultural autopilot. If this is one, then what else to I accept that isn’t True? What do you accept that isn’t true for you?

What is your Truth?
When I went to Newgrange, I realised that New Year for me was the Winter Solstice. I had been tidying my house and clearing out the old, so I could welcome in my New Year. It had been something that I just needed to do my internal compass was guiding me. Acknowledging where I’d been and what I’d learnt in the previous year. The return of the sunlight and longer days was a powerful feeling of renewal. I had been preparing for my New Year.

At Newgrange I clearly felt that Christmas is now a cultural festival of bling and consumerism. I know what it is and I don’t renounce it, I’m just not getting subsumed by it. I choose what Christmas means for me. It is a time for family to come together and relax in each other’s company. It’s a day off in winter, a time to rest, nurture and feast. We do this by sharing great food, a key part of our way of showing our care and nurturing each other.

The changing of the season though on 21st December was a powerful internal force. My Truth, my time to choose the path of my future. To make conscious decisions to move in the direction of my dreams. I spend time setting goals for myself, so I can develop myself in all my aspects – physically, spiritually, with family/ friends, improving my home, my career, travelling goals and volunteering.

Conscious choice – set some goals for the year
What is your Truth? When do you feel the internal compass spin and a need to move in the direction of your Truth? No matter what others are doing, what calendar they are following because “that’s the way we do things around here”, you should follow your gut and do what’s correct for you. Spend time reflecting and learning from the past year. Then its time to look forward and plan where you want to go. Break it down as I do and set little goals in each area of your life.

New perspective
Travel is a wonderful. It shines a light and allows you to see how you have just fallen in to autopilot. The unfamiliar environment, new people, may be even a new culture helps you to notice how you operate and how you could do things differently if you chose to. Think of it like this. A snake grows and a some point its skin then become restrictive. You have been growing over the last year, you now are at the point where you can internally choose to stay as you are in the same skin that feel familiar and safe, but a bit uncomfortable as it’s limiting, or you can choose to grow. This means leaving the safety of your old self, choosing to do things differently, to challenge yourself, to allow yourself to make mistakes and grow. You may feel vulnerable, but you will allow yourself to do new things, have adventures and be proud of your achievements. If not now when?

To understand the importance of setting goals to make your dreams come true read: https://explorediscover.me/2018/09/04/stuck-or-grow-which-will-you-do/ If you want support in this process then book a free Discovery Call and we can discuss how I can help you build the life you want.

When will you chose to develop into the New You? Next week? Next year? In five years time or now?

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How to be a safe solo female traveller

Let’s be honest, people will tell you not to go travelling on your own because something terrible will happen. If you’ve the gumption to step beyond the nay-sayer’s personal fears, you’ll experience the most wonderful, liberating gift you can give yourself. I have brought together some important tips to enable you to be safe on your life changing journey. You’ll find plenty of wisdom you can use on your own trip.

Do your research
Before you head off to the destination of your dreams, do your research. Find out where’s good to stay in the city. Every city has good and bed spots, make sure you know where to go and what not to do. Don’t go offending anyone, be aware of the cultural norms, these may be different o your own. For example don’t show the soles of your feet to Buddhist statues.

Make a plan
Do your research before-hand and create a plan for your trip. You need to share this with friends/family, so they know your whereabouts. If you decide to alter your plans as you travel, keep them up to date. Let them know if you are going off-line for a few days to go trekking etc. so they won’t worry.

If you need help to create your plan, join my training course Adventurous Spirit where I clearly explain how to do this.

Arrive in the light
If you are travelling to somewhere new on your own make sure you arrive in the daylight. Have accommodation booked for the first night. This allows you to get to grips with a new culture, currency and way of doing things. If you’ve had a long journey rest and recoup.

Advice on where to stay
Don’t skimp on your safety. Pay a bit extra to make sure you are staying in a safe area of town, in a good place. This doesn’t have to be a 4 star hotel, there are great hostels, but make sure your walk back is well lit at night and it feels safe. If you don’t feel good about anything, move. Listen to your gut instinct – it’s always right. Read other guest’s reviews when you are choosing where to stay.

Take a card
When you head out of your hostel/hotel, make sure you collect one of their cards. If you get disorientated and need to get back, you can show it to a taxi driver and they’ll know exactly where to go.

Follow your gut
If you have a feeling that a situation is unsafe, go with it. Avoid it or remove yourself from it. Going travelling solo will force you into new situations and you need to make snap decisions. Being able to listen to your internal guidance is crucial. I explain how to get in touch with your intuition in Adventurous Spirit. This is your inner compass – so use it!

People are the best protection
If you don’t feel good about a situation remove yourself as quickly and calmly as you can. Ask for help from locals/travellers that look good souls. Most people around you will be ready to help so don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help or advice. Most people are good, we just hear all the media noise about the few bad ones which can make us suspicious. Don’t think that everyone is there to rob you/rip you off. Be open to the kindness and friendliness of people and you will have the most wonderful and profound travel experience. Life is about giving and receiving. Make sure you do both in equal measure.

Be vigilant
Be aware of your surroundings and your stuff. Pay attention to what’s going on around you. Who’s around and can you duck in to a business if you need? Use your common sense and don’t go down quiet streets that you wouldn’t use at home. You can fend for yourself, just be aware of who you drink with and how much you drink. When you are travelling alone its safer to get hammered. You don’t need loads of alcohol to have an enjoyable time and connect with people.

Guided tour
Book yourself on occasional guided tour to meet other people and get to places that might be hard to get to. If you meet other travellers you like, you can choose to hook up and travel together for a while. Travelling on your own allows you to meet lots of wonderful new people and make new friends. You are never alone unless you want to be.

Don’t rely on one way to pay
Bring a mixture of cash, debit cards, credit cards and prepaid cards when you travel. Don’t rely on one. I often spend time on my first day visiting several ATMs with cards working out which bank works with which card – don’t assume they will all work. Carry small amounts of change in your pocket close to hand.

Emergency cash and cards
Always have emergency cash squirrelled in another place in your suitcase/backpack. In another place hide a credit card and some cash. If your purse/ bag gets pinched/ lost, you have back up while you get new cards issued. Keep your money in a belt bag or body wallet. You can get stylish clothing with concealed zipped pockets.

Copy important documents
Passport, tickets, insurance etc. make a copy and give them to your home contact. I also put them on my email. If everything is lost, I can get access to the copies, print them off and head to the embassy to get help to get replacement quickly.

Know where you are going
This is back to planning – know where you are going. Get a local map and be aware of where you are. When you get a taxi follow where you are going on the map and get a sense of the place. You will get a mental map of the place. If you aren’t going in the right direction, ask why. I had a tuk-tuk driver take me to the wrong place because he didn’t know where we wanted to go but didn’t want to lose face or the fare. It wasn’t a dangerous situation, but I knew that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be bad how to direct us to our hotel. You’re not a passenger, you’re the director of the course of your life.

Be confident
Keep your wits about you and don’t go taking unnecessary risks, don’t walk unlit streets in the dark. Walk with purpose – you’ve got your map and know where you’re going. Even if you don’t know where you’re going, walk confidently. Confidence comes from the inside out. Stand tall and look like you know what you are doing, even if you have to nip into a shop and ask the shop assistant where you are and how to get to where you want to go. Don’t look like a victim. You’ve got this. You can confidently not know where you are going if you are just exploring – just keep an eye on your whereabouts on the map.

Don’t draw attention to yourself
Wear appropriate clothing in the country you are in. If the local cover up, you should. Be respectful and blend in. I don’t travel in my best clothes. I don’t want to look like a wealthy target. I have t-shirts that always go travelling they aren’t fashion icons, in fact I have one with tiny holes in so I don’t look at all wealthy. I try to blend in in a poor country.

Don’t rush decisions
Take your time and don’t let anyone rush you when you’re making decisions. Step back, listen to your gut instinct and only do it if it feels right.

Look after yourself
Carry your own first aid kit so you can deal with the small stuff. Make sure you eat well, stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. If you get run-down, you can pick up bugs and colds. You don’t make your best decisions if you are tired. Having a woolly head makes you indecisive and feel vulnerable. Your health is your highest priority.

Don’t over commit
One thing you learn from travelling solo is to plan in flexibility and rest days. You need to look after yourself. Doing, doing, doing days will deplete you. Take time to rest, reflect and plan the next part of your trip. I love to keep a travel journal, and this is an enforced rest, as well ad my way of processing and appreciating everything that’s happening to me.

Say No
You will learn to have firm boundaries. Learn to say no, nicely but firmly. Do what’s right for you. Never question your instincts.

Start small
Learning solo travel skills takes time. Start by taking small trips in your own culture and building your confidence and skills. When you feel ready you can book a trip abroad and add in the complications of culture, language, currency etc. Some people dive-in having a horrible experience because they get over-whelmed. Don’t set yourself up for failure, gain your skills safely and gradually.

You will learn so much more about yourself and the other culture if you travel alone/independently. This article has given you easy tools and techniques for keeping yourself safe while solo travelling. Time spent planning before you go is an investment in your safety. If you want help with how to plan, enrol on the online course Adventurous Spirit. While you travel be vigilant, don’t get yourself in to situations you can’t back out of. Be confident, even if you don’t know where you are. Make sure you have more than one way to pay and keep yourself healthy. Be open to adventure and expanding your comfort zone. Solo travel will reward you with amazing experiences leaving you feeling wonderment. That’s why I support people to go on their own life-changing adventures.

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How to find the money to go traveling

Wherever you dream of going in the world, one of the biggest challenges is getting the cash for your trip. You need some money to be able to travel. It doesn’t have to be big bucks, not every trip needs to be first class and five stars all the way. But you will need some money, so if you are serious about going – how do you save for it?

Get clear on your financial goal. 
Work out how much money you need to save for your trip. How much will the flights, your accommodation and food cost? This is your minimum. What would you like to do while you are out there? Any special trips/ tours/ retreats? What is your total for the trip? You can adjust your plan for the trip until you get to a total you feel comfortable with, for example if you cut out the hot air balloon trip so you can save yourself $350 and go sooner.

Breakdown your big financial target into a monthly target.
To do this count the number of months from now until your intended departure date. Divide your financial goal by the number of months to get a monthly target. This is the amount you need to save each month.

If it looks wholly unrealistic, you need to modify.
There are three ways you could do this. One, you could extend your departure date, so you have more months to save. The more time you’ve to save, the smaller the amount each month, which makes it more viable. Two, make your trip cheaper, this reduces your financial goal. You can do this by finding cheaper flights, by staying in cheaper accommodation etc. Thirdly, you can decide to earn more money, so you can save more money. This could mean going and getting a second job in the short-term.

Transfer to your saving’s account.
Have a travel savings account that you siphon off 30% of your wages to every month. This will help you save faster for your trip.

Make sure you hit your saving target each month. If you want more hints and tips on how to be successful, sign up for Adventurous Spirit a four-week online course.  This course will support you in planning your own trip. There’s guidance on what to do and how to do it, but more importantly on busting your solo-traveller fears. Each week there’s a group call to answer any specific questions.

Is time to save for your dreams? Where will you go first?

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What’s stopping you travelling on your own?

Do you have dream destinations that you’d love to travel to… and no one to travel with now? The question is do you put your life on hold waiting for a travel buddy? Do you wait one year, two, ten, more for that person to come along? One that wants to go to the same place as you, do the same sort of things and has prioritised the time and money to do it. Or do you step outside your comfort zone and travel on your own? What are the common solo-travel fears that might be holding you back? In this blog, I’ll confront and dispel them, so you can choose to follow your dreams.

‘I’m worried about the cost of solo travel’
I can’t afford to go travelling on my own is a common view, but I disagree with this. You can choose how you want to travel and where you want to travel. You can set the budget, you don’t have to spend more that you want because you are travelling with someone that has a bigger budget than you. You’re in control. You can book rooms that don’t charge a single supplement or stay in a dorm in a hostel. You can decide your perfect holiday and you don’t need anyone’s approval.

‘Is it safe to travel solo?’
It’s a reasonable question. Some members of your family or friends will tell you that you’ll dies and get your stuff stolen. Those are their fears, don’t take them onboard. Like everything in your life, you do need to look out for yourself. Being in a group may make you feel comfortable, but you may get complacent and that’s when things could go wrong. Planning your trip, choosing carefully where to go and reading up about the place, will ensure that you have chosen a destination that you are comfortable with.

‘I might be lonely or feel homesick’
There will be lots of other people travelling when you go. You are guaranteed to meet lots of people and it is easier when you are on your own. People just come up to you and start talking to you and likewise you can just chat to other. Waiters and bar staff will often chat with you if you are on your own. Enjoy being on your own, read a book or write your travel journal. Let yourself be immersed in the beautiful place you are visiting.

‘I’ll feel guilty about going away’
But why? We should all live joyful lives, so get out there and have some fun. You will be great company if you’re enjoying yourself, visiting new places and having adventures. You only live once, don’t be held back by other people’s values. People that love you should want you to develop yourself by travelling and seeing the world. You can stay in touch easily while you’re away, so they know you’re fine.

‘I’m too old to go travelling on my own’
Utter nonsense! You don’t need to be a 20 something to get out there and have a wonderful time travelling. There are lots of diverse ways to travel. Find a way that suits you and what you’re passionate about. Being older means you have much more life experience to draw on. There will be lots of travellers of different ages who will be willing to chat and share top tips along the route. Age isn’t a problem. Have the right attitude is the key.

‘I can’t leave my job’
You don’t need to leave your job to go travelling. You can visit places all over the world in your one-, two- or three-week vacations. You need to prioritise and choose a way of travelling that delivers what you want. If you choose to leave your job and go off travelling for a longer period, it will give you time to re-evaluate your values and beliefs. This can be a catalyst for you deciding to live more inline with your values on your return, which will make you happier in the long-term.

‘I’m not brave enough or I haven’t got the experience’
You have a life time of experiences. You don’t need to be fearless, just determined to give it a go. There are tour operators that cater for single travellers if you want to go away but not be on your own. I suggest that you go on trips in your own country to build up your confidence and get used to talking to strangers and visiting new places. Each month I have a challenge in Women Travellers Tribe which helps you build the skills and confidence you need. You don’t need to be an extrovert to go travelling, you just need to be you.

If you’re thinking about planning your own trip and need guidance on what to do and how to do it, but more importantly on busting your solo-traveller fears, then sign up for Adventurous Spirit a four-week online course that will set you up for your first trip. There’s a weekly call to answer any specific questions. What are you waiting for? Is it time to make your dreams come true?

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5 Important life lessons we can all learn from a 40-year-old car

Last weekend, this 40 year old car with around 140 other Triumphs headed round Britain. Starting near London on Friday evening, we breakfast in John O’Groats on Saturday morning, and breakfast in Land’s End on Sunday morning. Then back to near London for Sunday evening. About 2,000 miles.

It’s fun but exhausting. No real stops, and team rotational sleeping throughout the trip. That’s the challenge! If you’re lucky you get around, but with these cars there’s always the danger of breakdown at 3am in the Scottish Highlands. Did we make it round? Well, before I answer that I want to share a few lessons from the weekend.

Just go for it!
Being new to the group I was thrown in at the deep-end, driving the car for the first time at the start of the event. I started it up and with a bit of encouragement we got it into gear and off we went. “Good grief, its heavy!” The first corner was a shock as it doesn’t have power steering. I had to drag it around the corner with brute force. It was a challenge, but when I was faced with doing it, I found I could do it. Don’t pigeon-hole yourself. Don’t decide what you do and don’t like, can and can’t do. You limit your life so much. Allow yourself new opportunities, new experiences, new challenges. Just jump in and have a go – you’ll figure it out along the way.

Plan, prepare and adapt along the way
There’s a route for the event. Participants get the instructions and transpose the information into whatever form works for them. I like to highlight the route on a map and then add it to a sat nav. It’s important to check for road closures but having done all that, life will still throw in a few challenges. Finding a road closure in Wales at midnight, isn’t the best time but having done the preparation, people know the direction of the route, so it was possible to improvise quickly on the move. The life lesson is plan, prepare (check the up to date information) and then you can nimbly change your plans if need be, because you know the parameters. You don’t feel blown off-course, it’s just a little corrective nudge.

Take time to admire the view
Life is full of rush, rush, rush. Even rushing to do stuff so you can have time to chill. It does mean that we can get in to our busy brains, thinking about the next thing that needs doing and not actually just enjoying the moment. Being captive in an old ex-Met Police Triumph 2500TC for 48 hours on a challenge against the clock, means leaving the day-to-day. Life is about now, this moment. What you see, feel and experience now. The views, company and cars. Being present and really enjoying the beauty of my own country, the magnificent sunsets and sunrises. The smells of the earth when it rains and the drips on your right arm as it leaks in! 48 hours can feel like a long time when you notice all the moments, but that’s what life is about. Be someone that really notices with all your senses, the experience is much richer. I now have a list of places I want to visit again and spend longer exploring.

Fill in your snagging list
I was intrigued by the sheet in the event handbook titled Snagging List. This is the space for writing down the car’s problems and what you’re going to do about it. I like to do my own snagging list when I go travelling. I think about what I’ve brought – too much not enough? What I did that I’d like to do more of, experience I have learnt from and want to avoid in the future. Reviewing, however you do it is important. I now do a weekly review on a Sunday that covers what went well, things that didn’t go so well and what I learned. Time for contemplation and reflection is important if you’re going to move forward in life. I also note actions, which give me structure for the future.

What else have a learnt from a 40-year-old car? Don’t think it’s in the bag until you cross the finish line! About 3 miles from the finish, the main beam lights went out, the whole car was plunged into darkness and we were heading down a dark narrow country lane. It was scary.

Thankfully, the dipped beam worked so we could struggle on to the end. If we’d been rallying round the corners like an idiot, we would have crashed. Always travel at a speed that you can stop before the danger!

Life lesson 5 is only risk what you can afford to lose
We made it to the finish in the private park on dipped beam with the blue headlights flashing. It was a great achievement by the car and the drivers. Here’s’ a link to a short film of us heading up Scotland: https://youtu.be/DQAVRyUWQlA

We’re now counting down the days to the next challenge next year in the blue car.

Please leave a comment below and let me know what challenge you fancy doing?

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What’s so special about wild camping? I’m a fire starter…

Part 2 of 2

Wild camping is back to basics. That includes heat and cooking. I love making fires, it’s a skill. You can’t get a fire roaring quickly if you don’t find dry dead twigs to start your fire. I don’t put chemicals or fuel on a fire to get it going, but I will use paper or saw dust. I prefer the challenge of starting a fire authentically. I have used a flint and that does require a high level of organisation and a dry kindling ball to catch the spark. Twigs and sticks need to be organised before you start, if you can’t feed the fire at the right rate with the correct sized sticks, it’ll go out and you’ll need to start again. Making a fire can be an unforgiving process. You need to learn what to do and how to do it, then you must be organised and do it.

When I go paddling in Scotland, after lunch, the agenda changes slightly we start looking for a suitable place to camp and for dry wood for the fire. The boat can be piled high with bits of wood we have found left stranded from a time of flood water. Sometimes we find drift wood, in other places branches have fallen off a tree, the best kindling is the dry dead twigs on the tree. They snap with a crack they’re so dry. Look at the tree – does it have leaves and do the twigs/branches bend? If you’re getting a yes to either of those questions, it is alive, so leave it. There’s too much water in the wood, it’s better to find dead wood. No one should be cutting down live wood, it’s selfish destruction and ruining the area.

On the edge of the loch we’ll use an existing firepit or make a fire on the stones of the shore. Don’t scorch grass by starting a fire on it, lift the turf for your fire (that way you can put the turf back and leave no trace. Make sure any ash is cold and you water the turfed grass before you leave.) If there isn’t a fire pit bring one. Don’t start a fire in a stupid position where grass and undergrowth can catch fire or tree roots and peat – you will start a wild fire that could do acres of damage and kill wildlife. You are responsible for your actions. When in doubt don’t! I like the Picogrill it’s small, light and you can cook on the fire.

Sitting chatting round a fire just feels good, not just surface gratification, but good down to your bones. Fire has been key to our success as humans. Nurturing a fire and cooking on it, feels good, fundamental and connects us to our ancient core.  Fun snack -take two sieves, add popcorn and pop on the fire. Obviously, you can grill meat, haloumi and vegetables. I’ve cooked fish in foil, calzones and flat breads are good on a gridle. You can make an oven with a gridle and a metal bowl and cook cinnamon twirls. The food tastes so good with the smoky flavour. My all-time favourite is scrambles egg done on a wood fire – slowly so it gets the smoky flavours – it’s delicate, yet rich and complex. The perfect outdoor breakfast.

Watching a fire flicker and dance is beautiful. It allows your mind to just sit empty and satisfied. There’s no where else you’d rather be, there’s nothing else to do, other than maybe put another log on the fire and watch it burn. Watching a fire is mindfulness, you are doing just one thing. No racing mind, no internal chatter, just being outdoors, feeling the heat, smelling the smoke, listening to the crackling and popping, watching the flames turn to embers. As the night closes round, you feel safe and content. The embers glow red-orange. As you drag a poker through them they spring to life, maybe flames for a few seconds, then beck to red embers that twinkle like the stars. The heat is intense, it’s like looking in to a volcano.

Watching the fire die at the end of a night is deeply relaxing. It seems to reset your brain. You feel a calm bliss, like meditation. It allows you to deeply relax and recharge. These sort of wild camping experiences keep you going for weeks in the frenetic modern world. The freedom and the simplicity allows us to get back to who we are, replenishing us. Make time for you. Find a way to do something that accesses the feelings of freedom and simplicity, whether it’s going for a walk in nature or something more… make time for you. You’ll feel calmer and happier. You get a better perspective on your life and the by-product is you’ll be a nicer person to be around.

Make time for simplicity and freedom.

What do you do to experience the feeling of bliss that comes from simplicity and freedom? Or what would you like to do?