Stuck or grow – which will you do?

The trauma of ending a long-term relationship cuts deep. The end of one part of your life allows you to create something new. In this blog I want to share why setting goals is so important to creating the life you want. I hope you will be inspired to set your own goals and make your dreams come true!

When I broke up from my long-term partner, I had to get used to being just me, not part of a couple. It was challenging changing my vocabulary, not using words such as we or us, it was now I or me. So, who was the I without the we? What had I given up to be part of a couple? I looked inside and realised, I’d given up on some of my dreams, to mould myself to be with my partner. Now I was on my own, did I want to follow my dreams? It was a clear choice, stay stuck or grow?

Growth objectives
It’s a simple question, but it applies to every part of your life. When you step back and look at all aspects of your life: work-life balance, career, fun/hobbies, finances, spiritual and mental growth, relationships, emotional growth and health/fitness, what do you think? Are some areas better than others? Parts of your life that you are happy with, that are running smoothly. But are there one or two areas that are dragging you down? You may already know what you want to change? These are areas for personal growth, they are your growth objectives.

Why would I want to have a growth objective I hear you say? It sounds like challenging work and I’ve no time or energy for any of that. I just want to plod along and have a quiet life. Okay, I hear you, but do you want a better life? The path to a better life, is sorting out the problems so you’re happier and more fulfilled.

Get clarity and set goals
Getting clarity about a problem can help you find a route to make changes. Sometimes problems can feel big, overwhelming and frankly impossible. If this is where you are, and you want to make a change, I suggest you get a coach. A coach will help you clarify your thinking. You can get clear on exactly what you want to change and create a goal. Having a goal means you can look at options and decide your best way forward. You create a set of small actions that move you towards your goal. Lists help, make them, do the action and tick them off. You feel good about your progress and this keeps you focused.

Achieving your goals
Do dreams come true? In my case, yes, they do! My dream was to ride a motorbike and go touring on a Triumph in the Dolomites. This was my dream since I was a teenager. I’d let other things get in the way, I hadn’t made it a priority, but inside I still wanted to do it. I looked around at other people who rode motorbikes, they didn’t seem to be any better than me. If they could do it, I could do it.

I decided to go for it! I’d try to get my motorbike license. In my mind this could result in one of three possible outcomes:

  1. Pass my license and I was on the way to making my dream a reality or
  2. Fail the test, but I was proud of myself for trying
  3. Realise that I didn’t want to ride a motorbike to the Dolomites, end of dream nonsense.

Any of the above options was a good outcome in my eyes. I found a local motorbike school that was supportive of women and I booked lessons. It was tough. I had to concentrate, learn and master new skills. It sharped up my road awareness and this has benefited me as a cyclist and car driver. I loved learning, challenging myself and developing new skills. As I made small steps, I was proud of my achievements.

My outcome was option 4! When I went for my test, I failed first time, but I wasn’t going to give up on my dream, I’d invested too much. I took my test again and passed. After years of developing my skills as a rider, I went to the Dolomites on my Triumph. My story is the same as many other people’s, I am not super-special or particularly gifted. I had a dream, I broke it down into steps and I just kept going until I reached my goal. I didn’t achieve it in a week, it took me years. But I can say with my hand on my heart that my life is richer. Motorbiking has given me a sense of freedom, squealing in my helmet, fun, respect and adventure. I’ve met wonderful people, visited beautiful, stop-you-dead-in your-tracks places that make your heart swell. As a teenager I had a dream, as an adult I made the dream come true.

Your time to choose
We all have free will. We all choose the life we want to lead. Which future will you choose? Same as always or doing what you want to do?

Start planning or if you want to get clarity, get a coach. Setting a goal makes an enormous difference when it comes to making changes in your life. The October Business Planning Guide 2017 from Rising Tide Society had a Harvard Study: that revealed remarkable statistics relating to goal setting and success: 83% of the population do not have goals; 14% have a plan in mind, but goals are unwritten; and 3% have goals written down. The study found that the 14% who have goals are 10 times more successful than those without goals. The 3% with written goals are three times more successful than the 14% with unwritten goals. Writing your goals down sets you up to be exponentially more successful. If you want to change your life make a goal and write it down. Be proud of yourself for choosing to change and making your life better. If you want to know what support coaching can give you to achieve your goals, book a free discovery call with me.

Make your dreams come true!

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