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How do you feel in Lockdown? Life of Pi

When we check in with each other at the start of Zoom calls, there’s a standard question: How do you feel? I wondered, how do I feel? So I have been internally scrolling through the emotions that the Pandemic has brought up in me and others, looking for ways to convey how these last couple of months have felt. It’s like a film rather than life. Ang Lee’s 2012 film Life of Pi comes to mind, rather than some end of the world epic.

If you have seen it, you will remember it has a peculiar story. A ship goes down and the only two survivors are a boy called Pi and a Bengal Tiger called Richard Parker, travelling together on a tiny boat, in a vast ocean, with no particular direction. In our reality, our homes are our boats. We are cast off from our social groups, each other, isolated by social distancing. We are individuals or small families in our own space, with the wide world outside, but one that seems strange and inhospitable to us now.

Some of us have supplies in the boat and some of us don’t. There are people who were very fearful, hording food and toilet rolls. They felt a need to prepare for the coming unknown. By buying lots of resources they were controlling what they could, in a world that felt out of their control. These unique times are triggering our fears at many levels. Showing us our subconscious thought programmes. We choose whether to act on them, go out and panic buy or manage our fears and reassure ourselves there will be plenty for everyone if we share. Every day we can make a new choice.

For some, it may not be possible to go out and get food. Some people’s sense of self is being challenged, something that challenges our very foundations. A friend, who never thought of herself as vulnerable and old, has had to grapple with this label, this identity that was imposed on her a few weeks ago. She was categorised in a way she would never label herself. To be labelled as old and an unwelcome drain on NHS resources, is brutal, when you see yourself as vibrant, creative and productive. These labels are being given to many, it’s not only about age. To be out mixing with people who may or may not be carrying the virus, for those with medical conditions, is putting themselves at risk. We are in lockdown to stop a surge of cases that the NHS can’t manage. We are staying home by choice to save lives. How do people who can’t be independent any more feel about the supplies dwindling in their boat? Do they feel more isolated, more fear? Do they feel powerless? Do they feel a burden on society? Are they grappling with their mortality?

In the film, Pi is on his own, in a small space, a boat, in an inhospitable environment trying to survive and share the space with something unpredictable, something that could easily kill him. Around us, Covid-19 is invisible. The fact that we can’t see this threat makes it more menacing in some ways as it could be anywhere. This results in people feeling very stressed, there’s a collective fear around the world. The mind repeats “there’s a threat!” all the time, “watch out it could be anywhere, be vigilant, be very vigilant.” Being full of fear for our own safety all the time is exhausting. We just can’t sustain it. The stress affects us negatively and results in our immune system becoming compromised.

The awareness of death portrayed in Life of Pi gave it an emotional depth, a tense quality. A sense of Pi wrestling with his views of God. Which god and what form did god take? How could God allow him to be on his own in such a harsh environment? Why was God testing him? In the film, Pi shows his ingenuity, he overcomes problems and grows in confidence and knowledge. At some points in the film he’s enjoying life and thriving, he’s adapted to the new life.

There are moments of extraordinary spellbinding beauty within the film. Nature is magnificent, fascinating and humbling. The light of the sunset on the water made me cry it was so beautiful. I see more people out walking, noticing spring, day by day as the leaves on the trees develop. People are slowing down and noticing, sensing and feeling the world around them. They are excited to see a butterfly or bumblebee. The notice the beautiful flowers, and they sense something has changed in them, they’re noticing the colours are more vividly. We are now in the moment, appreciating what we see and sense. We feel life, we are realising what’s important as the distractions are stripped away. We are really living life, not rushing past it.

Pi has to find a way to live with the tiger until they get to land. We too have to find a way to live with Covid-19. Being in constant fear will harm our health. We need to find a way to coexist on the planet. The virus like the tiger is part of nature. We need to treat it with respect and look after our own health and not get depleted by being constantly fearful. The lesson is do not live in fear,  live the best life you can. Each day has 24 hours, you can spend them feeling sad or happy, you choose.

My question to you is, how are you feeling? If you are uncertain, fearful, how will you manage your fears so you can live with the tiger and enjoy your beautiful life? If you or someone you know wants support with this transition, join me on Navigating Change and Strengthening Resilience. Friday 8th May 1pm register here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/102840903912

Sarah Nicholson

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Finding opportunities through the Menopause

Whether you are at the start, middle or end of your menopausal journey, one thing is true, this is a new phase of life. A change in hormones affects how we feel inside, about ourselves and our lives. In this blog I will suggest how you can transform challenges into new opportunities to step out and shine. Life is for living!

My journey begins

Earlier this year my confidence just seemed to fade away. I was able to function, do my work, socialise and get about, but I felt empty inside. My confident-self had drained away and I couldn’t understand why or how? Some nights I was hot and sweaty, was that me or was it just a bit warm this summer? What was going on with my body?

These are symptoms of the perimenopause caused by changes in hormone levels. Feeling low, cross and irritated, irrationally angry, rage or upbeat and then low are all symptoms some women experience. Now I recognise them as such, they are no longer bewildering and overwhelming. Feeling relaxed and happy with myself and my current stage in life is very important. I accept that this is a natural process and welcome the transition. Being open, letting it flow easily rather than resisting it.

But still the challenges are out there and my feeling of a complete lack of self-confidence was very real. How did I get through it? I accepted that this was some sort of temporary feeling that had no external reason. This analysis helped me feel better, it was just a matter of step by step, getting back to the whole me. The way I did this was simple. I listened to my body and set myself some great fun goals to work towards. I didn’t push, I just let myself move towards them.

Prioritise yourself

Being very busy at work, the pressures of running a home and finding time to fit in family, friends etc. can mean a residual level of stress in your body. If you are stressed, your body is already challenged. Reducing your stress allows your body to cope with things in a more natural and flexible way. Taking time out for yourself, sitting and reading a book in bed, enjoying your garden or walking in nature can help you feel less stressed. Self-care is important, it’s not a nasty self-indulgence as some people think, it de-escalates things, allows us to regain our equilibrium and our strength. This is a crucial step; you need to get your footing right. Prioritise yourself.

Yoga is a wonderful way to let the stress drain from your body. Find a teacher that works in a way that suits you. I like to listens to my body, doing what it needs in the yoga session. Ask around to find a good yoga teacher, that’s fun to be around. You can’t banish stress if it feels serious and strict. Meditation, massage and acupuncture can also provide relief from stress and lift your mood.

Be mindful

Emotions can sweep us off into an internal storm. Being mindful (awareness) of what you are doing at each moment in time can often help you feel relaxed and better able to manage mood changes. Be conscious of your body and how it feels from the inside. Notice what you are doing and how if feels on your body, on the outside. It’s a way of linking back to the real and not getting swept out-of-control by an emotional tornado. Notice the little things, the smell of a beautiful rose, focus on its delicate beauty and incredible colour. You can delicately touch its petals. Use all your senses to notice and feel what you are doing in the moment.

Living in the moment

The past is done, there’s nothing you can do to change it. The future is the future, you can’t control it. What you do in the present moment is all that matters. When you live in the moment, you are completely present for your friends and family, which is the greatest gift you can give. You notice more, life is richer. Living in the moment, can reduce anxiety levels because you don’t worry about the past or future events.

Lots of laughter

You choose what you do with your time. Doing something that makes you laugh will make you will feel closer to others. Giggle therapy is just so good for you and it stimulates your immune system. I feel so much better after a good belly laugh. I went to see Russel Howard in Leeds and was laughing uncontrollably at one point in his show. I came out feeling lighter, and the laughter didn’t end there as we were sharing funny stories from our own lives after the show. Choose to hang out with good positive people that make you laugh.

Keep in touch

My friends are also noticing their bodies changing. Being able to share our experiences of life and our bodies is important. This social support stops us feeling isolated. It’s important to have others to go to in times of need. Pick your friends wisely, you don’t want drama and negativity. Solid individuals who know, that this too will pass, willing to just listen, understand and who believe in your ability to cope.

Positive thinking

How you think about the menopause influences how you experience it.  Studies show that negative beliefs held prior to the menopause can be predictive of a more difficult time. For instance, the more catastrophic your thoughts about hot flushes, the more intense they will be. How you feel about yourself and your life is crucial. If you’re over the hill and past it, as a Western culture obsessed with youth and beauty may have you believe, you feel there’s no hope.  But Chinese women described menopause as, “wisdom and maturation,” “a symbol of achievement,” and “a time to start enjoying life.” They’re just starting to get into the stride of life. They don’t experience as many negative symptoms of the menopause as western women. Choose your thoughts and think positively. The best is yet to come.

Keep a diary of things each day that bring a sense of joy and make you smile. Its best if you can do this before you go to sleep and set your mind thinking positive thoughts. You will start to think more positively, looking each day, for the good things you are going to write down in your journal. Your life will become much happier as you focus on the good things each day, negativity slips away.

Transitional phase

Not all women report feeling negative effects of the menopause. Zoe Ball even has some advice for other women who are going through “the change”… Have more sex!

See this as a transitional phase, it is the adolescence of older age but better than adolescence of youth because menopausal women have confidence and experience. This is a time of choice and should really be about finding out what you really want. Now is the time to take charge and shape the remaining chapters of your life.

Find a couple of pages in your journal, and title them “To Do List”. Next, think about some things you’d like to do in the future. There’s lots to live for and enjoy doing. Write them in a list and tick them off as you do them. You can buy some beautiful underwear, go on a course, visit somewhere new – whatever excites and challenges you, write is down. This is a time for exploring who you are and connecting to your inner wisdom.

New opportunities, new challenges

This third phase of our lives enables us to look inwards. As infants we look outwards learning about the world and ourselves. In the mother phase we nurture and create, giving ourselves and our time to others. Now is a time for self-development and inner work. Your “To Do List” should have challenges that allow you to try new things, test out new hobbies or interests. Physical challenges that push you a little further. Maybe, like myself, you’ve been wanting to do something for a while and haven’t got around to it yet. Pop it on your list.

I’ve wanted to walk The West Highland Way ever since I heard about it. This summer I made the time to do the 96 miles. It wasn’t until I was walking on day two, did I really feel in my heart, what a great gift this was to myself. This act of self-love, time for me in nature, doing something I love – walking and exploring, it was simple and yet so profound. It was a key moment, filling up the empty space inside I’d been feeling. I gave myself time to think, to be and regain my feeling of self-confidence because it was time to just know me again, no distractions.

This is a transition phase, an opportunity to become who you are meant to be. To do this you need to push out of your comfort zone and develop in to the new you.  Whatever your challenge, prioritise time for it. A long-distance walk, canoeing in the wilderness or cycling in North Wales, make time for a journey into yourself. If you want support and guidance to plan your journey, sign up to Adventurous Spirit. Whether you are travelling near or far, go on that inner journey and step into your power.

I’m developing a new course designed to help you navigate the emotionally roller coaster of menopause – you can read more and register your interest today – Wisdom Queens

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The importance of adaptability in a crisis

On Tuesday Italy went into lockdown. This is the first time a country has quarantined itself in my lifetime. This is a new experience for me, seeing how the world is choosing to deal with this challenge.

I attended a great training course on Wednesday. We talked about how to deal with environmental problems such as earthquakes, fire and rip tides. We also covered acts of terrorism and shooters as they target areas with lots of people. We watched a film of people panicking, a streetlight went out and people screamed and started running, because some ran, others ran, they didn’t know why, the fear-based reaction created panic. This may sound all doom and gloom but it’s not. It’s thinking about possible problems and making a plan, a strategy to deal with them. We hope for the best and plan for the worst. If something does go wrong, you can flip into doing something you know rather than panicking.

FEAR

The virus seems to have created a lot of fear. It feels like a fear-virus in our consciousness. Being in all this fear isn’t pleasant. Panic buying and hording is fear-based action. There’s helpful information explaining what the virus is, how it’s transmitted and advice on sensible actions people can take to stay safe.

I had planned to go to Valencia next week. The Festival I was visiting has been postpones at the moment but they intend to run it in the future.

The week after, My plan was to go to Florence in Italy. I am now not going. Am I upset? NO. It doesn’t matter if I go now or in October or next year. Things can be rescheduled. I’m not fixated on going now. I’m flexible.

Getting target fixation can mean that your mind gets such a narrow tunnel vision, you lose perspective. You are so set on the target; it can mean your other senses are compromised. This isn’t good. When we’re travelling or anytime in life generally and we are faced with a situation we need to ***** it. This is thinking on your feet:

  1. Does it look wrong? If there’s something not quite right about the situation, don’t do it
  2. Does it feel wrong? Trust your KNOWING – don’t do it
  3. Don’t get target fixation – this compromises your ability to think objectively – this can be deadly!

My assessment of the situation in Italy is:

  1. Florence doesn’t look right the streets are empty
  2. It doesn’t feel right, my insurance won’t be valid
  3. I can go another time; it will be okay later in the year

Italy is just an example, but whatever we are doing in our lives, we should use these three checks. Always trust your gut instinct and don’t do it if it doesn’t feel right.

BEING FLEXIBLE

Flexibility is hugely important it’s a state of mind and a way of being. Move with what’s going on around you, adapting and flowing. We still need strong roots; we need to know ourselves and trust in ourselves and our ability to cope and adapt. Knowing that you have lived through worse challenges gives us confidence as we are facing a challenge.

We are in a time of uncertainty and I encourage you to step back and see the bigger picture. Know that this too will pass. Be flexible and see what opportunities a change of plan offers you. I have plenty of books that are waiting to be read if I need to self-isolate. We need to treat each other with kindness as we move through this time doing our best to adapt and change as needed. Being in control is a figment of our imagination. Anyone that has been affected by a serious sudden accident or bereavement will tell you. Life seems to be in control, but we don’t control life. Life is a force of nature. We need to flex with it doing our best to adapt and learn as we go.

Be like bamboo – flex in the storm, not like a ridged tree that is blown over. Adapt and move. There are so many choices every day – millions, you can change the course of your life in any single moment. What will you choose?

The world doesn’t need me to support women to go travelling independently at the moment. I will return to that when it’s useful.

Currently I am looking at delivery online training to those looking inwards right now and using this time to reflect and refocus on their life.

More details coming soon…

Learn more about me here

 

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Workshops

WORKSHOPS

Learn more about ExploreDiscover’s range of exciting Archetype workshops:

Archetypes are universally known repeated patterns of human experience. These themes are known to all of us. The word Archetype in origin mean symbolic pattern.

By exploring the archetypes, we open ourselves up to being more of ourselves. Think of yourself as a big mansion house. Behind the door of each room is a wonderful gift you can bring to the world.  We are taught how to act, we learn how to fit in and be acceptable. This process of socialisation happens to us as children. In your life you have unconsciously closed off doors to your many gifts. Now the corridors may be covered in cobwebs as you have accessed them.

You are stuck! Why can’t you move forward and do what you want in your life?

You are trying to do everything with only half the toolkit!  You’re having to using a hammer when you need a spanner. A hammer is fine, but you need other tools for different jobs.

How do you access the qualities you need to make a difference in your life?

The good news is you can access these energies and bring the qualities into your life.

Read about each Archetype and notice whether it is something available to you in your life. If you want to transform your life, these workshops can guide you to your gifts.  

Engaging the Archetypes on a path to transformation

“awaken the lover”

Explore the archetypal significance of The Lover in your life. Do you struggle to complete things/stick at things long-term? You need to activate desire in your life. Learn how to soften and open to a love-filled life. Reclaim your vitality, sensuality, passion and faithfulness. 

Learn More & Immediate Access to the Online Workshops
“awaken the warrior”

The Warrior wants to feel the elation from mastery, the sense of a job well done! This workshop will help you if you are risk averse and struggle to complete tasks. You need to activate strength and break out of your comfort zone. whether in business, an entrepreneur or for social change. The Warrior is connected to her heart, higher truth and knowledge, combined with the courage to act, protect, stand up for this truth.

learn more & Immediate Access to the Online Workshops 
“awaken the destroyer”

How are you at endings? Do you avoid them? Does that mean you won’t start things as you fear the ending? Do you hold yourself back from the richness of life? The Destroyer Archetype gifts you liberation.  Reclaim your bravery.  The gifts are leadership, risk-taking and progressive.

Learn More & Immediate Access to the Online Workshops

“awaken the explorer”

On this journey we delve into the Explorer Archetype and her goal of authenticity. The Explorer leaves the known to discover and explore the unknown. This archetype helps us discover our uniqueness, our perspectives and our callings. Explorers are looking for something that will improve their life in some way, but they may overlook that they already have much inside themselves. The gifts of the Explorer are independence, bravery, nonconformity and self-sufficiency. This journey will support you to enrich your life with these gifts.

Learn More & Immediate Access to the Online Workshops

“awaken the creator”

On this journey we delve into the Creator Archetype and her goal of innovation. Creativity is creation of new connections. The Creator Archetype fosters all imaginative endeavours, from the highest to the smallest innovation in lifestyle or work. The challenge is ensuring you do not overload yourself with new projects but allow yourself to express yourself in beautiful ways. The gifts of the creator are creativity, imagination, nonlinear and nonconformity. This journey will support you to enrich your life with these gifts.

learn more & immediate access to the online workshops 

“awaken the entertainer”

On this journey we delve into the Entertainer Archetype and her goal of ​enjoyment.  The  Entertainer invites us all to play, showing us how to turn our work, our interactions with others and even the most mundane tasks into fun. We will navigate and neutralise the pitfalls of laziness and dissipation. This is a wise goal, to just enjoy life as it is with all its paradoxes and dilemmas. The gifts of the Entertainer are ​humour​, ​originality​, ​irreverence​, awareness. This journey will support you to enrich your life with these gifts.

Learn more & immediate access to the online workshops 

“awaken the innocent”

On this journey we delve into the Innocent Archetype and her goal of happiness.  The Innocent Archetype embodies sincerity and is always truthful. They inspire people to do good. If you need to start a new project, you need to access the faith and trust of the Innocent to get you started. We will examine the pitfalls of this Archetype which are denial and also becoming dependent on others to fulfil their tasks. The Innocent’s gifts are sense of wonder, trust, faith and optimism. This journey will support you to enrich your life with these gifts.

Learn more & immediate access to the online workshops

“awaken the friend”

On this journey we delve into the Friend Archetype and her goal of belonging. ​They crave creating and forging connections with people. ​They work hard and live a simple life. They are democratic but not necessarily political, they believe in fairness and respect. They enjoy being part of a group and do not like the elite. This archetype helps us be accepting of people, by being friendly, understanding and inviting. We will dive deep and examine the pitfalls which are cynicism, the tendency to be the victim and chronic complaining and release these patterns. The Friend’s gifts are respect, realism, fairness and altruism. 

Learn more & immediate access to the online workshops

“awaken the caregiver”

On this journey we delve into the Caregiver Archetype and her goal to help others. The Caregiver is an altruist moved by compassion, generosity and selflessness to help others. This archetype helps us raise our children, build structures to sustain health and life. We will dive deep and examine the pitfalls which are the suffering martyr and controlling others by making them feel guilty. “Look at all I sacrificed for you!”  We become aware of the potential for codependency patterns. The Caregiver’s gifts are empathy, compassion, patience and generosity. 

Learn more & immediate access to the workshops

“awaken the magician”

On this journey we delve into the Magician Archetype and her goal of transformation. This archetype searches to understand how to transform situations, influence people and make visions into realities. A Magician can manifest something from nothing. They have significant personal power and can be a catalyst for healing and transformation . We will dive deep and examine the pitfalls which are manipulating others, a disconnection from reality and belittling ourselves or another, resulting in diminished self-esteem and release these patterns. The Magician’s gifts are highly evolved,  intuition, charisma and cleverness​. 

Learn more & immediate access to the workshops

 

“awaken the sovereign”

On this journey we delve into the Sovereign Archetype and her goal of order and structure and hence an effective society. This is not an easy task s chaos and order aren’t far apart and the Sovereign needs to commit herself fully to the task. She inspires us to take full responsibility for our lives, in our fields of endeavour and in society at large. The We will dive deep and examine the pitfalls which are tyranny, controlling behaviours, rigidity, elitism and an attitude of entitlement and release these patterns. The Sovereign’s gifts are confidence, power, responsibility, system savvy and control. 

2-3pm, 3-4PM 23rd + 2-3pm 25th November Book Now

“awaken the sage”

The Sage Archetype seeks the truths that will set us free. This Archetype can help us see the world and ourselves objectively, and to course-correct based in this data. Her gifts are skepticism and nonattachment. She is a seeker after truth and enlightenment and journey’s far in search of next golden nugget of knowledge. We will dive deep and examine the pitfalls which are the unfeeling judge, being over critical and impracticality and release these patterns. The Sage’s gifts are understanding, intelligence, truth seeking, clarity and wisdom. 

9.30 – 1.30pm  17th December Book Now
BOOK YOUR CALL

Book a Complementary 20 minute phone call with Sarah to discuss which workshop is best for you.

Testimonial

"I chose the ‘Know YOUR Way’ workshop because I felt overwhelmed and was struggling to find focus and meaning. Although I felt I didn’t have time to do the course I knew it was important to make the time. Sarah was great, down to earth and easy to talk to. She helped me reflect and to recognise my self sabotaging behaviour and fears that were holding me back. I left the course with new insights and having created a clear step by step action plan of how I am going to make my dreams a reality, with short-term and long-term goals. After finishing this course I fulfilled one of my dreams and organised an amazing family trip, travelling round Cost Rica. Before the course it felt impossible. Invest in your future happiness. I would recommend this course if you are feeling lost and need clarity and guidance on how to make profound positive changes in your life."
Jen Todman
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Solo not lonely – Make your own adventure this valentines day

Love yourself this Valentine

As we edge towards another commercialised holiday celebrating being loved I ask, must you be in a relationship to feel love?  Must we be defined by the vision of a loved-up couple whispering sweet nothings and sharing a bottle of something sparkling on Valentine’s day?

Is there a valentine’s day card that reads ‘Dear Me, You are worth it and I love you for everything you are‘?

I hazard a guess at no, but we don’t have to be constrained by these stereotypes and our limiting beliefs of what we are worth.

Investing in yourself, practising self-love and being kind to yourself despite cultural expectations is such a powerful action and can really make a difference to how you see your life.

Solo does not have to be lonely

Being solo in life doesn’t have to mean being lonely and unhappy.  Quite the opposite.  Discovering your inner purpose, aligning with your inner compass, going after the life that you want and all the adventures that brings, fills you up with new respect, new love and new dedication to you and everything you want to be.

Solo female travel has increased hugely in recent years. Google searches for ‘solo women travel’ increased by 32% in 2017 and 59% in 2018. The search grew to a jaw-dropping 230% increase in 2019. So women are getting out there, travelling on their own and experiencing the world just for them.

How do you feel about doing something for yourself as we move to Valentine’s Day?

What would your adventure be?  Where would go? What would you do?

This is the real juice of life. This stuff makes you sparkle from the inside out.  Kick back on the cultural lovey-mush and find you own romantic adventure with you.

Top 5 ways to practice self-love this Valentines

  1. Do something special just for you, massage, explore new foods -cook yourself a recipe from another country
  2. Write a list of all the places you’d like to travel
  3. Go for a walk, just with you and relish the sensory experience, enjoy your body
  4. Write down your goals and aspirations for 2020
  5. Invest in you. What courses can you do or which books can you read for self-development?

 

If you feel like you need a little support in reaching your goals and aspirations, my Womens Travellers Tribe could be for you.  A group of like minded women, supporting each other, learning new skills, empowering each other.  Read more about the tribe here – WOMENS TRAELLERS TRIBE

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Could Valencia be the perfect City for your first solo travel?

The answer is yes!

I’ve just returned from a research trip to Valencia as this is the destination of my first graduation trip following the Adventurous Spirit course.

And I can guarantee you will not be disappointed.  Valencia is the third largest city in Spain after Madrid and Barcelona. It’s a beautiful, vibrant and thriving city full of art and culture with great transport links making it easy to get around.

Despite the heavy rain and storms during my time there, I made the most of the rich history and culture

Here is a useful guide on things to do in Valencia and here are my top tips for an adventurous city break:

 

My top tips for travel:

  1. Pack your trainers and explore the city on foot
  2. Use the metro, easy clean and fast
  3. Tourist buses give you a different perspective of the city

My 3 must see attractions:

  1. The Fallas in the street in March or the Fallas Museum all year round
  2. Iglesia de San Nicolas
  3. Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias

My top 3 places to eat/socialise:

  1. DDL boutique
  2. Tapas at a great looking place
  3. Jimmy Glass Jazz Club

 

If you think Valencia could be the place for you, you can find more information about Adventurous Spirit and the graduation trips over on the website.

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3 Ways to challenge yourself in 2020

 

What’s a challenge?

Whatever’s a bit difficult for you – something you can’t do easily is a challenge. Doing something a bit difficult is a way of learning a new skill, developing your knowledge or competence and increasing the number of things you can do in life. When you do something new and you master it, it feels great. You are on top of the world. How are you going to challenge yourself in 2020 and get that feel-good factor?

What do you want to try/learn this year?

I love to cook and so I booked on an Asian Cookery Class in York this summer. It was great fun cooking, drinking wine and eating the delicious food we made. What would you like to try/learn?  A new skill? Something fun and physical like axe throwing or more detailed such as a jewellery making workshop.

What are your personal development goals?

One of my 2019 goals was read a book every month. It didn’t need to be a huge book, but it did hep me refocus back in to reading. I love reading and learning. What do you want to learn in 2020? Do you want to travel and be able to speak the language a little? Could learning a new language be your development goal?

What are your physical goals for the year?

In August I walked the West Highland Way a 98mile path in Scotland. It was fabulous and my goal for 2020 is the Dales Way, another long distance walk this time in England. I also want to spend a week cycling in the Orkneys exploring the countryside and ancient sites. Do you want to walk, cycle, paddle somewhere? What would you do? Where would you go?

These are dreams. A dream written down with a date becomes a goal.

Join me on 6th January for the Adventurous Spirit FREE challenge week and set some plans in motion!

Decide to make your 2020 the best year of your life!

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Is it your time to go solo?

You don’t need to wait for anyone else to join you on your fabulous trip. Just go and do it! Plenty of ladies are traveling on their own. The BA Global Solo Travel Study of almost 9,000 18-64 year olds found that over 50 percent of women have taken a holiday by themselves, with 75 percent of women planning a solo trip in the next few years. Why not go for it yourself in 2020? Where have you always wanted to go to… Thailand, Spain or some amazing landmark, to see a breath-taking natural wonder such as the Northern Lights or be part of a wonderful cultural event? Which trip first? You can go on your own.

When I speak to ladies who want to travel alone but feel unsure, there are a few recurrent issues.

  1. Can I get the money? Yes, you can, read this Blog.
  2. I’m not confident enough to go. You can develop your confidence to enable you to go traveling.
  3. Is it safe for women to go traveling? The answer to this last one is yes and I’ll share my thoughts on why.

I’m Sarah Nicholson. I absolutely love traveling…. however, I am culturally aware and extensively research the countries I am planning to visit.  Listed below are some of my tips.

Don’t assume anything. Be alert but not alarmed. You need to be aware of what’s going on around you.

COMMUNICATE

Be friendly and smile. You will meet some wonderful people who will help you as you travel the world. Learn a few local phrases like; hello, how much, no, yes and thank you. If you mean no, say it with your words and your body language. Don’t give mixed messages, be very clear.

CLOTHING

Don’t wear an expensive watch, jewelry or clothing. Leave anything that you’d be upset if you lost it, at home. Don’t look like a target. Remember many people in the countries we travel to are dirt poor. They need to make a living, and exploiting tourists is a way of surviving.

PERSONAL SAFETY

Taking care of yourself is your highest priority. Be aware that when you’re tired or sick you naturally let your guard down and are more vulnerable. Get plenty of quality sleep so you’re at your best. You need to make sensible decisions.

Read about the current scams operating in the countries you are planning to visit. Type into your web browser eg  ‘scams in Morocco’. Your personal safety is the most important consideration. Be aware that culturally they may do things in a different way to your home country. In some countries, a woman walking alone at night is an open invitation for sexual harassment. I arrive in the light and plan my route to and from my accommodation in the daylight so I’m confident later. If walking isn’t a good idea, I get a recommendation for a taxi or tuk-tuk. I make sure I know which are the no-go areas in a city and I stay away. Use what you have learned about the country to plan your trip and make it safe.

GUARD WHAT YOU DISCLOSE

I trust my gut instinct about strangers. I am always friendly but don’t need to disclose that I’m traveling alone. If I feel unsure about someone, I let it slip that someone is waiting for me at my accommodation / next destination.

LUGGAGE

I can’t stress this enough, the less luggage you take the better. Be wise with what you pack. It is liberating to realise how little you really need in life. You can wash your clothes along the way. I have one bag on wheels or a backpack (not too heavy) and a little daysack.

My backpack/luggage goes everywhere with me. Yes, this includes to the loo/toilet. NEVER put your bag on the back of a chair.

If you’re traveling on night trains, secure your bag with a cable lock so it can’t be removed.

MONEY

Never put your money in your back pocket. Use small denomination notes like a local. Estimate how much you will spend for the day and keep this amount in your day purse, hide the rest. I use a money belt, with the notes in little plastic bags.

Travel with a minimum of 2 credit cards! It can be a challenge when you arrive in a new country to know which bank card will work with which ATM machine. Having your money slit into different accounts gives you options. Avoid using public ATMs on the street, go into the bank. You can use an RFID sleeve to protect your cards from being scanned.

EATING OUT

Don’t eat from restaurants in the major tourist area. Walk at least one block away and eat with the locals – the food will better and cheaper. Use your instinct to pick the one run by the best lady, she will look after you.

COMPUTER SAFETY

There are fewer internet cafés than there used to be. People seem to travel with a tablet or iPad. DO NOT use public computers to access bank accounts. To enhance your security, use a VPN on mobile phones/computers to access bank accounts.

Before you leave, create a travel email address. Scan your passport and email your travel documents to yourself.

PHONES

Check your contract before you leave and know you can do abroad. If you use a travel SIM make sure the provider speaks your language.

TRAVEL INSURANCE

Always take out travel insurance: if you can’t afford travel insurance then you can afford to travel. Check what your travel insurance does and doesn’t cover, e.g. does it cover repatriation? Most don’t cover adventurous sports such as riding a horse or a motorcycle. If you want to be able to go skiing or white water rafting while you are away, make sure you buy the correct policy.

Expect the unexpected

As I said, I love traveling solo but also like to keep it stress-free. I plan my trips and love learning about the places I’m going to explore. If you want to find out how to plan your own trip, sign up now and join me on Adventurous Spirit in January. You will be traveling solo in 2020. Where will you go first?

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When does your New Year start?

The New Year marks a point in time, where we move from one year to the next, this is a culturally agreed date. Where you’re from, will influence how you think and the customs you’ve taken onboard as your autopilot. Travelling allows us to see these autopilots. Stepping out of our culture into separate set of beliefs and ways of acting makes us aware of what we’ve taken onboard as truth. But is it the Truth with a capital T? The ultimate truth? I’ll share my thoughts about New Year which help highlight our constricted thinking. I’m going to encourage you to turn off your autopilot and consider your Truth with a capital T. Then make some plans for your New Year and new you!

Which is your New Year?
There are many different calendars around the world that measure the passage of time. In China the first day of Chinese New Year begins on the new moon that appears between January 21 and February 20. This is huge festivity with people travelling home to celebrate with family and their community. It is known as the Spring Festival and its traditional for every family to thoroughly clean their house, in order to sweep away any ill-fortune and to make way for incoming good luck. This ritual is a conscious way of letting go of the past year to step into the New Year, clean, fresh and ready for opportunity.

The Gregorian Calendar is the most widely used calendar system today. New Year is celebrated on the 1st January. Wikipedia explains the variety of dates used by different places. You’ll notice the link between location on the globe and the amount of sunlight. Because the New Year is about the start of the new growing season. This is true for us internally as well – that’s why we make New Year’s resolutions to consciously develop our growth in ways we want.

Ancient wisdom
To ancient people the return of the sun was a time for celebration. It was the start of the New Year. More daylight meant spring was on its way, a time to plant crops and more food security. These were a very knowledgeable and sophisticated people. Neolithic people used stone tools and they had a very accurate understanding of the passing of the seasons through the movement of the sun. The Winter Solstice on 21st December marks the shortest day of the year and the longest night. After this, we in the northern hemisphere get a little more daylight each day up to the Summer Solstice on 21st June. I travelled to Newgrange a Neolithic tomb to be part of this ancient celebration of the return of the sun.

Stonehenge in England a famous standing stone temple that lines up with the summer and winter solstice. There are more detailed carvings on the stones facing the Winter Solstice, showing that this was the more important orientation. The return of the sun was the most momentous time of year. Travelling to Newgrange to be part of the Winter Solstice celebration was a new experience for me. I was following my intuition. I knew I should be there, but I wasn’t sure what to expect.

At Newgrange I learned that Neolithic people clothed themselves using hides from deer and other animals. They knitted using the fibres from sheep and dogs. Dogs! I realised that I had culturally accepted that we use the fur of sheep. Dogs have fur, that’s soft. They need their coats cutting so why did this seem a new concept to me, as it is an obvious use of resources? I had just shone a light on a cultural autopilot. If this is one, then what else to I accept that isn’t True? What do you accept that isn’t true for you?

What is your Truth?
When I went to Newgrange, I realised that New Year for me was the Winter Solstice. I had been tidying my house and clearing out the old, so I could welcome in my New Year. It had been something that I just needed to do my internal compass was guiding me. Acknowledging where I’d been and what I’d learnt in the previous year. The return of the sunlight and longer days was a powerful feeling of renewal. I had been preparing for my New Year.

At Newgrange I clearly felt that Christmas is now a cultural festival of bling and consumerism. I know what it is and I don’t renounce it, I’m just not getting subsumed by it. I choose what Christmas means for me. It is a time for family to come together and relax in each other’s company. It’s a day off in winter, a time to rest, nurture and feast. We do this by sharing great food, a key part of our way of showing our care and nurturing each other.

The changing of the season though on 21st December was a powerful internal force. My Truth, my time to choose the path of my future. To make conscious decisions to move in the direction of my dreams. I spend time setting goals for myself, so I can develop myself in all my aspects – physically, spiritually, with family/ friends, improving my home, my career, travelling goals and volunteering.

Conscious choice – set some goals for the year
What is your Truth? When do you feel the internal compass spin and a need to move in the direction of your Truth? No matter what others are doing, what calendar they are following because “that’s the way we do things around here”, you should follow your gut and do what’s correct for you. Spend time reflecting and learning from the past year. Then its time to look forward and plan where you want to go. Break it down as I do and set little goals in each area of your life.

New perspective
Travel is a wonderful. It shines a light and allows you to see how you have just fallen in to autopilot. The unfamiliar environment, new people, may be even a new culture helps you to notice how you operate and how you could do things differently if you chose to. Think of it like this. A snake grows and a some point its skin then become restrictive. You have been growing over the last year, you now are at the point where you can internally choose to stay as you are in the same skin that feel familiar and safe, but a bit uncomfortable as it’s limiting, or you can choose to grow. This means leaving the safety of your old self, choosing to do things differently, to challenge yourself, to allow yourself to make mistakes and grow. You may feel vulnerable, but you will allow yourself to do new things, have adventures and be proud of your achievements. If not now when?

To understand the importance of setting goals to make your dreams come true read: https://explorediscover.me/2018/09/04/stuck-or-grow-which-will-you-do/ If you want support in this process then book a free Discovery Call and we can discuss how I can help you build the life you want.

When will you chose to develop into the New You? Next week? Next year? In five years time or now?

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How to be a safe solo female traveller

Let’s be honest, people will tell you not to go travelling on your own because something terrible will happen. If you’ve the gumption to step beyond the nay-sayer’s personal fears, you’ll experience the most wonderful, liberating gift you can give yourself. I have brought together some important tips to enable you to be safe on your life changing journey. You’ll find plenty of wisdom you can use on your own trip.

Do your research
Before you head off to the destination of your dreams, do your research. Find out where’s good to stay in the city. Every city has good and bed spots, make sure you know where to go and what not to do. Don’t go offending anyone, be aware of the cultural norms, these may be different o your own. For example don’t show the soles of your feet to Buddhist statues.

Make a plan
Do your research before-hand and create a plan for your trip. You need to share this with friends/family, so they know your whereabouts. If you decide to alter your plans as you travel, keep them up to date. Let them know if you are going off-line for a few days to go trekking etc. so they won’t worry.

If you need help to create your plan, join my training course Adventurous Spirit where I clearly explain how to do this.

Arrive in the light
If you are travelling to somewhere new on your own make sure you arrive in the daylight. Have accommodation booked for the first night. This allows you to get to grips with a new culture, currency and way of doing things. If you’ve had a long journey rest and recoup.

Advice on where to stay
Don’t skimp on your safety. Pay a bit extra to make sure you are staying in a safe area of town, in a good place. This doesn’t have to be a 4 star hotel, there are great hostels, but make sure your walk back is well lit at night and it feels safe. If you don’t feel good about anything, move. Listen to your gut instinct – it’s always right. Read other guest’s reviews when you are choosing where to stay.

Take a card
When you head out of your hostel/hotel, make sure you collect one of their cards. If you get disorientated and need to get back, you can show it to a taxi driver and they’ll know exactly where to go.

Follow your gut
If you have a feeling that a situation is unsafe, go with it. Avoid it or remove yourself from it. Going travelling solo will force you into new situations and you need to make snap decisions. Being able to listen to your internal guidance is crucial. I explain how to get in touch with your intuition in Adventurous Spirit. This is your inner compass – so use it!

People are the best protection
If you don’t feel good about a situation remove yourself as quickly and calmly as you can. Ask for help from locals/travellers that look good souls. Most people around you will be ready to help so don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help or advice. Most people are good, we just hear all the media noise about the few bad ones which can make us suspicious. Don’t think that everyone is there to rob you/rip you off. Be open to the kindness and friendliness of people and you will have the most wonderful and profound travel experience. Life is about giving and receiving. Make sure you do both in equal measure.

Be vigilant
Be aware of your surroundings and your stuff. Pay attention to what’s going on around you. Who’s around and can you duck in to a business if you need? Use your common sense and don’t go down quiet streets that you wouldn’t use at home. You can fend for yourself, just be aware of who you drink with and how much you drink. When you are travelling alone its safer to get hammered. You don’t need loads of alcohol to have an enjoyable time and connect with people.

Guided tour
Book yourself on occasional guided tour to meet other people and get to places that might be hard to get to. If you meet other travellers you like, you can choose to hook up and travel together for a while. Travelling on your own allows you to meet lots of wonderful new people and make new friends. You are never alone unless you want to be.

Don’t rely on one way to pay
Bring a mixture of cash, debit cards, credit cards and prepaid cards when you travel. Don’t rely on one. I often spend time on my first day visiting several ATMs with cards working out which bank works with which card – don’t assume they will all work. Carry small amounts of change in your pocket close to hand.

Emergency cash and cards
Always have emergency cash squirrelled in another place in your suitcase/backpack. In another place hide a credit card and some cash. If your purse/ bag gets pinched/ lost, you have back up while you get new cards issued. Keep your money in a belt bag or body wallet. You can get stylish clothing with concealed zipped pockets.

Copy important documents
Passport, tickets, insurance etc. make a copy and give them to your home contact. I also put them on my email. If everything is lost, I can get access to the copies, print them off and head to the embassy to get help to get replacement quickly.

Know where you are going
This is back to planning – know where you are going. Get a local map and be aware of where you are. When you get a taxi follow where you are going on the map and get a sense of the place. You will get a mental map of the place. If you aren’t going in the right direction, ask why. I had a tuk-tuk driver take me to the wrong place because he didn’t know where we wanted to go but didn’t want to lose face or the fare. It wasn’t a dangerous situation, but I knew that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be bad how to direct us to our hotel. You’re not a passenger, you’re the director of the course of your life.

Be confident
Keep your wits about you and don’t go taking unnecessary risks, don’t walk unlit streets in the dark. Walk with purpose – you’ve got your map and know where you’re going. Even if you don’t know where you’re going, walk confidently. Confidence comes from the inside out. Stand tall and look like you know what you are doing, even if you have to nip into a shop and ask the shop assistant where you are and how to get to where you want to go. Don’t look like a victim. You’ve got this. You can confidently not know where you are going if you are just exploring – just keep an eye on your whereabouts on the map.

Don’t draw attention to yourself
Wear appropriate clothing in the country you are in. If the local cover up, you should. Be respectful and blend in. I don’t travel in my best clothes. I don’t want to look like a wealthy target. I have t-shirts that always go travelling they aren’t fashion icons, in fact I have one with tiny holes in so I don’t look at all wealthy. I try to blend in in a poor country.

Don’t rush decisions
Take your time and don’t let anyone rush you when you’re making decisions. Step back, listen to your gut instinct and only do it if it feels right.

Look after yourself
Carry your own first aid kit so you can deal with the small stuff. Make sure you eat well, stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. If you get run-down, you can pick up bugs and colds. You don’t make your best decisions if you are tired. Having a woolly head makes you indecisive and feel vulnerable. Your health is your highest priority.

Don’t over commit
One thing you learn from travelling solo is to plan in flexibility and rest days. You need to look after yourself. Doing, doing, doing days will deplete you. Take time to rest, reflect and plan the next part of your trip. I love to keep a travel journal, and this is an enforced rest, as well ad my way of processing and appreciating everything that’s happening to me.

Say No
You will learn to have firm boundaries. Learn to say no, nicely but firmly. Do what’s right for you. Never question your instincts.

Start small
Learning solo travel skills takes time. Start by taking small trips in your own culture and building your confidence and skills. When you feel ready you can book a trip abroad and add in the complications of culture, language, currency etc. Some people dive-in having a horrible experience because they get over-whelmed. Don’t set yourself up for failure, gain your skills safely and gradually.

You will learn so much more about yourself and the other culture if you travel alone/independently. This article has given you easy tools and techniques for keeping yourself safe while solo travelling. Time spent planning before you go is an investment in your safety. If you want help with how to plan, enrol on the online course Adventurous Spirit. While you travel be vigilant, don’t get yourself in to situations you can’t back out of. Be confident, even if you don’t know where you are. Make sure you have more than one way to pay and keep yourself healthy. Be open to adventure and expanding your comfort zone. Solo travel will reward you with amazing experiences leaving you feeling wonderment. That’s why I support people to go on their own life-changing adventures.